Season of Song (December 2015)

Wow, December certainly flew by with great fanfare.  Let me see if I can sing it's praises.

First, school ended for the semester at the beginning of the month.  Look ma, all A's!  I was proud to overcome the challenges of balancing school work with the rest of my life (day job, church jobs, choir rehearsals, spouse, kids, etc.) and the challenges of the classes themselves (remembering to include the inversion, trying to hear inversions in the ear training lab, playing my jury piano pieces).  I've also enjoyed this break between semesters to recuperate!

As is my usual plan for December, I spent the month singing.  A lot.  The month kicked off with the Messiah Sing-a-long.  The night of the first concert, I got to watch my son Jonathan play with the Jr. Honors Band Clinic before I ran to Norris to sing.  Yay for my musical family!  The evening of the second concert, I got to sing my favorite solo from the work - "Come Unto Him".  Just so beautiful and peaceful - like a sung prayer of rest.  I sigh just thinking about it.

Next came the Clayton Holiday Concerts with the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra.  Most people wonder why in the world I'd want to sing 4 concerts in one weekend.  Honestly, I'm in it for the snow and Santa.  I get to celebrate Christmas with hundreds of people four times in one weekend.  I get to watch kids light up when they see Santa.  I get to hear the audience laugh with glee when the snow falls. I get to watch the Maestro show off his fancy candy cane socks and conduct with a glimmer in his eye and hands waving like Bugs Bunny.  I get to be part of the ongoing selfie competition within the Knoxville Choral Society.  Like this one:

There's just so much fun to be had, and I don't mind 4 concerts in one weekend -- as long as that's not my schedule *every* weekend!

Side note: For two weeks in December, Joshua was out of town, leaving me to be a temporary single Mom.   It reinforced to me how difficult it would be for me to pursue music if I had to manage on my own.  Thankfully, we've got a number of great babysitters to step in when needed.  But my bank account wouldn't be able to support my music schedule on a regular basis.  If you have a friend who is a single Mom musician, please offer them free babysitting.

In the midst of final rehearsals and preparations for Christmas Eve, we managed to sneak in a bit of caroling.  Four of us sang carols at Greenfield Senior Living, much to the delight of residents (including members of our church).  It was a good feeling to look around and see the residents singing along with us.  I felt like we provided a personal musical moment to each of them.

Then came the big day - Christmas Eve!  After last year's fiasco, I was itching to celebrate the season as much as possible.  And my wish was granted in full.  The evening began with ORUUC's Children's Choir singing "Every Voice That Sings" and "Do You Hear What I Hear".  They did such a great job - I wanted to cry and shout and cheer!  They had memorized their music, waited patiently for their turn to sing, and sang in two parts.  Way to go, kids!  It was a proud moment that looked kind of like this:

I love that my daughter Laura made special arrangements to get back from a trip with her grandparents so that she could sing with us.  We sat on the chancel together to lead hymns for the congregation.  Yay for my musical family!

After the ORUUC service, I drove over to Westside to lead two choir pieces in the Christmas Eve service.  I had written my first blog post at Westside earlier in the week, so I was hoping to bring that joy of the season to inspire great music.  Thanks to Linda, we had a little Christmas miracle of a soprano section.  We sat the choir up on the chancel -- it felt good to have them so prominent in the service.  And when they stood to sing - what a wonderful sound!  I enjoyed a piece that Mary Donovan picked out that combines the choir singing "Peace Peace" with the congregation singing "Silent Night".  It really came together in a pleasant way, filling the room with sound.  The second piece, "Bring Us Peace" was where the Christmas miracle occurred with a fresh soprano voice that could conquer the descant part.  Probably one of the best things I learned in preparing for Westside's Christmas Eve is that I can trust my instincts -- I made a few minor changes to each song and they both turned out really well!

After Westside's service, I went to find dinner.  Only, I learned a very important lesson - most fast food places close early on Christmas Eve!  I should plan for a packed dinner from home if I pick up three services again in the future. This year, it was lunchables (which my son calls dinnerables when you eat them for dinner) from Walgreens.  Mostly, I survived the evening on Coke Zero and cookies after each service.

I ended Christmas Eve singing with Anna Thomas over at First Presbyterian in Oak Ridge.  After being "in charge" all night, I was glad to be able to relax, sing, and worship myself.  The special music was "Cradle Hymn" and it was amazingly sweet and gentle and beautiful.  I will definitely keep that piece in my Christmas arsenal.

If you thought Christmas Eve would be the end of this post - think again!  AFTER Christmas Eve, I got to reunite with some of my favorite singing buddies (Michael, Dave, and Amanda) to lead service music on Sunday 12/27.  As much as I dreaded it, my favorite part of the service was singing "Let It Go" from Frozen.  We ended up inviting the kids from the congregation who knew it to come sing along - and that made it so much more fun for me.  THEN, for New Year's Eve, ORUUC had a coffeehouse, where another favorite singing buddy Amber convinced a group of us to get together and sing.  We chose "Sound of Silence" from Paul Simon.  It was hauntingly beautiful and I'm looking forward to singing with that group again soon.

And now, silence it is.  I'm quietly working away at selecting pieces and leading rehearsals, waiting for school to start back in mid-January and just generally enjoying a sigh of relief from living very fully in December.  Time to rest.

So Much to be Thankful For (November 2015) -- Part One

It's December 1, and I've barely had a moment to reflect on my very rich life right now.  The musical journey is incredible and I am overflowing with gratitude.  In fact, I have decided to list 30 things I am thankful for - one for each day in November.  So brace yourselves for the longest post in a while, friends.

1.  Joshua.  Did you know this man does our family laundry now?  It's one thing that I don't have to worry about in my life.  Clean clothes just appear in our bedroom every few days.  He also picks up Laura from karate so I can make it to my choir rehearsal on time.  He figures out dinner most weekday evenings and some weekends, even if that means a run to Outback carryout because I'm too exhausted to move from the couch.  In order for me to keep up my frantic pace of work, school, music work, and music ensembles, there has to be someone behind the scenes keeping me together.  Thankfully, I've got an amazing silent partner.

2.  Jonathan.  I totally luck out in the timing of this call to music ministry.  Or maybe I was more open to the call because of the timing in my life.  Either way, my independent 12-year-old needs so little day-to-day care from me at this point that I am able to pursue my dreams.  This boy wakes up in the 5AM hour every morning without an alarm clock.  He gets himself dressed, makes himself breakfast, and is out the door by 6:30.  Most mornings I get up around 6:15 just to make sure there's nothing that needs signed for school.  He helps to carry in groceries, feed the dogs, and just generally help around the house.  My only concern with him is that he's starting to grow a mustache and he's only about an inch shorter than me now.  The teenage years come too quickly!

3.  Laura.  I think I've found myself a cheerleader.  This girl gets dragged to church early nearly every Sunday because I'm involved in something musical.  I think I've heard her complain once in all that time.  She loves helping me with ORUUC's Children's Choir, including listening in to give a kids perspective when I'm deciding on new music.  She's also the puppy caretaker, a job she is always happy to fulfill.  Our puppy cries when she goes upstairs to bed, even though Josh and I are still there to play with her.  Somehow Laura is just more fun than we are.  Laura is also the queen of being excited about life.  Everywhere we go, she's the first to say, "Mom, look at that!"  She sings along and dances to her favorite songs on the radio.  She reminds me that life is meant to be lived.

4.  Parents.  My parents in all forms.  My Mom, my Dad, my Dad's girlfriend, my in-laws.  Each of them carry me along this journey in some way.  My Mom sent me condolence cards when my dogs passed away and then a gift card to PetSmart when we adopted new ones.  My Dad and his girlfriend invited us over for an amazing Thanksgiving feast and then came to my first Christmas concert of the season.  My in-laws are taking the kids for a few days over Winter Break.  It takes a village.

5.  Clara.  After the heartbreak of losing our two dogs within a week of one another, Clara has been the beacon of light that there is truly more love somewhere.  Though timid, Clara has settled right in with our family and has built a deep level of trust in each of us.  It's beautiful.  There is literally no way to avoid a smile when her tail is wagging at you.  This week, Clara is at the vet's office getting her first treatment for heart worm.  I'm looking forward to having her back at home soon.

6.  Milly.  Oh, Milly.  Milly the puppy stole our hearts within the first few minutes we saw her.  She loves everybody, loves to cuddle, and loves to play.  Mostly, she loves to chew.  On anything and everything in our house.  She actually stole Jonathan's slipper from off of his foot.  Fearless and hyper, she's an excellent balance for shy and mellow Clara.  Milly finally slept through the night a few days ago, which has given me renewed energy.  It's impossible not to laugh at her antics.

7.  Oak Ridge Animal Shelter / Friends of Oak Ridge Animal Shelter.  Thank you for rescuing dogs like Clara (Juniper) and Milly (Savannah) so families like mine can experience the vitality they bring to our home.  Special thank you to FORAS for funding Clara's heart worm treatment.

8.  ORUUC.  I don't thank this church enough for all of the encouragement and support I've received. From the early days of questioning why our house band had no sheet music to playing my first piano solo in service, I've received an endless amount of patience, opportunity to grow, and kinds words to carry me on my journey.  Thank you to each and every person who walks along side me on my spiritual path and my musical journey.

9.  Kids Choir.  I've been in my role as ORUUC's Children's Choir Director since August.  I continue to learn from our kids everyday.  Most rehearsals, we start out with a "dance break" where I hook my iPhone to a portable speaker and play a song for us all to move a little bit.  I started letting the kids pick the music and got a pleasant surprise when one girl asked for Sting's "Fields of Gold" and one boy asked for the Beatles.  The know more about music then I have given them credit for!  They also retain so much information from week to week!  We've learned about quarter notes and rests, eighth notes and half notes.  Even the repeat symbol.  They challenge me to make music fun!

10.  My friends.  I hate grouping all of my friends into one big thank you, but this post would be entirely too long if I mention each person individually.  Thank you to friends who invite me out for lunch, or coffee, or dinner, or dancing.  Thank you to friends who invite my kids over for play dates and sleepovers.  Thank you to friends who are also babysitters.  Thank you to friends who make music with me.  Thank you to friends who teach me music.  Thank you to friends who listen to me vent about really petty stuff in my life.  Thank you to friends who go out of their way to spend time with me.  Thank you to friends who show love when I need it most.  Thank you to one friend in particular for using Kohl's rewards to make my new awesome winter coat more affordable.

11.  My day job.  I'm not sure if I've mentioned lately that my musical journey is truly financed and made possible by my day job.  In general, music classes are not offered in the evenings.  It's not like business classes or classes geared toward working folks.  So, I take my music classes during the day.  Thankfully, my day job in training & development allows me flexibility with a work-at-home schedule, so I am able to take classes early in the morning and at lunchtime.  My day job also pays the bill for school. And, just when you thought things couldn't get better, I have a wonderful boss who actually checks in to see how my musical development is progressing and was genuinely excited for me when I got my choir director job at Westside.  My day job also encourages me to be active, with my running goals built into my performance plan and rewarded with points that can be spent on health items.  Everyone should have a job like this.

12.  My health.  I would guess that at least once a day, someone mentions to me that they could never keep up with my schedule.  I am thankful that my body and mind, in general, let me keep at this breakneck pace.  Occasionally, like this past week, my body reminds me that I need to make time for rest.  But most of the time I'm able to go, then go, then go some more before I collapse into bed and start my day again.  And although I'm not keeping up with my running as much, I have been regularly walking the new dogs and was able to run/walk a 5K on Thanksgiving.

13.  Ebb and flow.  This should probably rank higher on my list.  Without the breaks in my schedule, I would never rest and recover.  My classes are wrapping up for the semester.  One music ensemble has finished our holiday performance and won't rehearse again until January.  Every once in a while, there's that unexpected night off on my calendar.  Those nights I spend on the couch watching Dr. Who with my family. Or spend at karate watching Laura in class instead of just dropping her off.  I treasure those moments when I can reconnect with my family ... and my bed.

14.  Teachers.  I've had some great teachers this semester.  My Music Theory teacher shares new material in a way that makes it approachable.  She gives us hints and tips to remembering all the terms.  I have to admit, I kind of like analyzing music.  It's like solving a puzzle.  My Piano teacher always has a kind word for my pieces and suggests ways to improve to make the music even better.  She's very supportive and encouraging.

15.  Challenges.  Yes, I'm thankful for challenges.  How will I make it through the Ear Training software?  How will I get Jonathan to an audition and Laura to a playdate and myself to a rehearsal at the same time?  How the heck do we add two new dogs (including a puppy!) into the mix of our already busy family life?  These challenges are just asking for creative solutions - they stretch me to think outside of the box.  Sometimes a great plan comes together... and sometimes we learn a valuable lesson for next time.  I once heard a fitness coach talk about how in order to become more fit, you have to "stress the system."  When these challenges pop up, I imagine how we will all grow because we're stressing the system.

Continued in Part Two...

So Much to be Thankful For (November 2015) -- Part Two

Continued from Part One...

16.  My new job.  Yes, for a musical journey blog, this should be higher on the list -- but I wanted to make sure my priorities were straight.  While my life is all about music, my family and friends still come first.  Now... I *adore* my new job as the choir director for Westside UU Church.  I have received a very warm welcome and have already started picking out music for after the holidays.  It's an amazing opportunity to work with a great community and I will definitely make the most of it.  I spent my first choir rehearsal just observing and listening, so I'm looking forward to starting to work with everyone next week.  I spent my first Sunday singing a solo (Josh Groban's "Thankful" -- which inspired the title of this post) and greeting the community.  I'm looking forward to recruiting members into the choir and spending Sundays sharing choir pieces with the community.  

17.  Unexpected moments.  As I was driving to a rehearsal the other day, the sun was setting over the mountains. It was a beautiful sight.  I took a moment to just watch the horizon and breathe.  Moments like that remind me to stop the frantic pace from time to time and just enjoy the view.

18.  Music Ensembles.  The groups that keep me going.  Whether it's our church choir and band, Knoxville Choral Society or Chamber Chorale, or the Messiah Sing-a-long crew, singing with people makes me amazingly happy.  I just kicked off the Christmas season with the Knoxville Chamber Chorale and the Knoxville Chamber Orchestra in a sold out show at the Bijou.  Wow, how fun!

19.  Mentors.  Formal and informal.  Folks I look up to in my day job, in my music ensembles, in my church, in my community.  People who inspire me to work toward my passions.  I hope I do you all proud.

20.  NYC. A nice place to visit, but reminds me that I would never enjoy living in a big city again.  It's the first family vacation we've taken in a while and it was really cool to share the sights and sounds of the city with the kids.  Plus, Lion King on Broadway!

21.  People working toward racial justice.  You know who you are.  ARE, SURJ, BLM, NAACP, and the recent Oak Ridge City Town Halls.  I love you, support you, and can't wait to see the change we can make in this world.

22.  Vacation days.  I had a bunch of days off work this month, between the NYC trip and Thanksgiving.  I'm looking forward to even more coming up at the end of December.

23.  Stevie Wonder.  At 65 years old, he put on a FOUR HOUR concert, with one 20-minute intermission.  I now have proof that I can keep this pace going for the next 30 years.  Bonus thank you that his concert counted as one of my concert reports for my piano lessons this semester.

24.  Shelter.  From the rain.  From the cold.  There may be water in the garage and water stains on the ceiling in the living room, but our home is still doing its job.

25.  Pie Five.  For the many meals and free pizzas I have earned.  Whole grain crusts, veggie toppings, and not a lot of guilt in my speedy lunch/dinner choices.

26.  My phone.  The electronic thing that keeps me organized and sane.

27.  Body parts.  Fingers to play piano, arms to wave to conduct, feet and legs to walk the dogs around the block, eyes to watch my children grow, ears to listen to music and the world around me, shoulders to carry my backpack, knees to get down eye-to-eye with the puppy, and a nose to sniff out the nearest pumpkin pie.

28.  Christmas carols.  Inspired music that helps me remember the best parts of the season.

29.  Adele's "Hello" video.  It gives me the feels.

30.  Rain.  Did you ever have something you were thankful for, but didn't particularly like?  I don't like the rain.  At all.  But, I appreciate that it provides nourishment for the Earth.  And, today, I appreciate that the puppy didn't want to go for a walk in it, so I finally found the time to catch up on this blog.

And there you have it - my update for November and my endless gratitude for the life I lead.  While the storms of poverty, racism, hatred, and disrespect for our environment rage on around us, while the world needs so much more... there's so much to be thankful for.  Taking the time to reflect fuels me for the work ahead.

Exciting News!

On July 22, 2014, I woke up with a calling... to become a UU Music Director.  Since that day, I've gathered resources, spoken with mentors, gone back to school, volunteered for all sorts of music stuff, and just generally kept this purpose in focus.  

Today, I'm really excited to announce that I'm taking another step on this journey toward a musical career.  I've accepted a contract role to lead the choir at Westside Unitarian Universalist Church through next June.  It's a great opportunity to put all my new skills into practice and get more practical experience in music ministry.  I'm looking forward to being able to serve Westside by helping to create vibrant, inspiring music. 

The position begins November 15.  Be on the lookout for new chapters in this adventure!  Until then, make a joyful noise!

I just can't hide it!

What a week!  I've had so much excitement, it's been incredible.  (I just don't think there's enough joyous adjectives to describe it.)

Let's start with last Sunday.

 I got the true privilege of leading a multi-church choir for the installation of Rev. Carol Bodeau at Westside Unitarian Universalist Church.  Thirty wonderful singers from Knoxville area UU churches contributed their voices in celebratory song.  We sang Joyce Poley's award-winning hymn, "Keepers of the Earth," as well as Lucy Holstedt's vibrant anthem, "Welcome In," and Copland's classic, "Simple Gifts."  We opened with a spirited version of, "Enter, Rejoice, and Come In" and closed with a rousing, clapping-full rendition "This Little Light of Mine."

For me, it was amazing to watch the service unfold.  The service elements came together so beautifully and were the culmination of months of work -- from researching and selecting music with Rev. Carol, to coordinating rehearsals with the Music Directors at the area UU churches, to leading individual rehearsals at each congregation and our combined rehearsal, and finally to watching everything come alive on Sunday afternoon.  The choir, accompanist, and drummers brought the music to life better than I ever could have imagined.

Next up, a children's choir rehearsal that ran late - in a good way!  Our kids at ORUUC were so attentive and worked so hard on creating movements and learning the words for their new piece, "A New Day" by Agnes Paulsen, that our rehearsal time just flew by.  I have to admit, I'm kind of missing them on our day off today because...

The rest of my week was spent in rehearsals with the Knoxville Opera's production of Boito's Mefistofele. I'm part of the celestial chorus through a partnership with Knoxville Chamber Chorale.  It was a series of long rehearsals this week with performances Friday night and this afternoon (thus the no children's choir rehearsal this week).  It's a really entertaining show and I enjoyed being able to see a good chunk of the show from onstage behind the actors - and about an hour of the show hanging out in the green room catching up on school work and emails.  I would definitely do it again!  Even with the exhaustion from...

My high school reunion was also this weekend.  Having already committed to the Opera, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to go.  But I managed to find flights that could get me in and out of DC at crazy early morning hours - and the best friend willing to host me and keep up with my crazy schedule.  At the reunion, several people commented "of course!" when I mentioned that I was going back to pursue my music degree.  So funny, even my high school friends knew what I should be doing twenty years ago.

Now, the exhaustion has set in and I'm thankful for a day off tomorrow.  No school, no work, just a day to relax with my kids and catch up on sleep.  Today, I feel successful in doing all the things I wanted to do this week.  I shouldn't even think about tomorrow.  These sweet memories will last a long, long time... I know not every week will be this great, so I'm documenting it while I'm so excited!

*P.S. Shout out to the Pointer Sisters for the lyrics to "I'm so excited"

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Ah, these are the days of my life.  The days where I wake up at 5:45am and fall into bed after 11pm having barely had a moment to breathe.  Exhausted, but happy.  I still haven't found quite the word to describe it.

First...The Good.  The good is very good.  My new job as ORUUC's Children's Choir Director is really rewarding and, for the most part, really fun!  We've danced the Macarena and learned to draw quarter notes.  We've talked about the shofar and sung about Rosh Hashanah.  We impressed the congregation this past Sunday with our Hebrew.  L'Shana Tovah to you!

My job as the Music Coordinator for Rev. Carol Bodeau's installation at Westside UU Church is nothing short of amazing.  We started rehearsals last week and I have to admit -- I think it's a miracle every time voices come together to create music from some little dots printed on a page.  Dan Forrest planted this idea in my head and it has really grown into a deep appreciation for how music is created.  Rehearsals continue this week and it looks like we'll have between 25-30 folks in the installation choir.  I'm already imagining the great sound of their combined voices.  A miracle, I tell you.

School, while challenging, is going really well.  My first tests in both classes came back with good grades and my piano teacher tells me she can already see my progress.  I swear I learned more in the first three weeks of Music Theory (key signatures, intervals, major/minor relative keys) than anyone has ever taught me about music.  And we're not even half way through the first term!  I've got a lot to learn, but I'm an eager student.

The Bad.  Oh, the bad.  Scheduling is hard.  Two of my classes this semester require work outside of class, so I needed to find more time for school in my week than I expected.  I drive to campus every morning now, which was tough to get used to.  It also means that I'm working very early morning and later afternoon hours to get my day job done so I can break away from my desk for school each day.  At the end of most school/work days, I have to take the kids to their activities and then run off to my own rehearsals.  So I really do have several days a week where I'm up at 5:45am and don't see my bed again until11pm.  Weekends aren't much better, with kids activities, church service, Children's Choir, volunteer activities and more rehearsals.  While I enjoy what I'm doing (even my non-music day job is great), the schedule can be grueling.

The Ugly.  So, so ugly.  Ugly is what happens when you volunteer to hang out at a high school lock-in until midnight and then come home to a vomiting dog.  My weekend went from cleaning the house to singing at a community event with our Mighty House Band to volunteering at the event to the church high school lock in to vomiting dog to sleep to choir rehearsal to children's choir rehearsal to church service to children's choir rehearsal to reorganizing my daughter's bedroom to family dinner to schoolwork to sleep to school to work to karate drop off to... <crash>  Did I mention U-G-L-Y?  My body stopped me in my tracks with a migraine so fierce that I had to cancel everything for Monday night.   No rehearsals, no schoolwork, no emails.  Just resting on the couch in a dark room followed by an early bedtime.  The mind was willing, but the body was having none of it.

Despite the bad and the ugly, I am really happy.  Feeling confident that in working toward my purpose, I am living out my purpose.  My body reminds me from time to time that I am, in fact, human and need to take time to rest in the midst of all the excitement.  Many times, I feel like a little kid - so full of energy toward living out this dream that I can't sleep, thinking of the next thing I want to learn or try or do.  It's exhilarating and exhausting... exhaustarating?  exhilarausting?

Whatever it is, it's beautiful.

Calm Before the Storm

It's August.  The end of summer.  The return of the early morning school bus and the late night choir rehearsal.  Thankfully, the schedule gradually returns this year, with the kids going back to school last week (shifting our morning routine to a VERY early 5:45am), a start to children's choir at ORUUC this week (more on that in a moment), then school for me and Knoxville Choral Society returning later in the month.  By the last week in August, everything will be back in full swing and my life will consist of endless amounts of preparing, rehearsing, organizing, studying, listening, parenting, driving, singing... and very little sleep.  So, in this calm before the storm, I wanted to make sure I got a blog update written.

I'm thrilled to announce that I am now ORUUC's Children's Choir Director!  This K-8 group meets weekly and performs in service about once a month.  We kick off this coming Sunday and I'm really looking forward to spending time with our youngest singers.  Special thank you to David Ensley, the new Music Director at ORUUC, for giving me this opportunity for ongoing professional development.  I've spent the past week digging into kids music books thinking about what's possible for our crew.  I've enjoyed discussing possibilities with one choir member, my 9-year-old daughter.  She's getting remarkably good at telling me which songs sound fun and which sound boring.  Ha!

I've also made headway on the music for Rev. Carol Bodeau's installation at Westside UU Church in October.  It takes time to critically look at songs for their fit -- considering how the lyrics match the themes of the service, how the sound (tempo, rhythms, melody, etc.) fits with the flow of the service, how the difficulty compares with the amount of time we have to rehearse and the singers who volunteered.  I've been taking my time, knowing this process will get faster once I have more experience in selecting music.  And I've really been enjoying listening to all sorts of new music, exploring the UU Musicians Network database, and reaching out to UU composers to learn more about their pieces.

I'm also all squared away with school this semester.  I'm back at Pellissippi State CC for Music Theory I & Ear Training I, along with individual piano instruction.  Classes start in a few weeks, on August 24.

Knoxville Choral Society and Knoxville Chamber Chorale also start back up later this month, with KCS performing a Fall concert and with the Knoxville Symphony's Clayton Holiday Concerts and KCC performing with the Knoxville Opera and Knoxville Chamber Orchestra's Classical Christmas.

So, with my new Children's Choir responsibilities... and my work with Westside UU Church for Rev. Bodeau's installation... and my music classes at Pellissippi State... and Knoxville Choral Society's fall concerts... and Knoxville Chamber Chorale's opera production with the Knoxville Opera... I am ensured a very musical Fall.  And honestly... I can't wait!

Following the Call - Year 1

It's been a year.
A year since I woke up with the call.

It's been a year of celebration.
A year of tears.

It's been a year of education.
A year of intuition.

It's been a year of courage.
A year of humility.

It's been a year of achievement.
A year of disappointment.

It's been a year of connection.
A year of isolation.

It's been a year of determination.
A year of perseverance.

A year of waking up every morning and answering the call.

Answering the call to serve as ORUUC's Temporary Music Director.
Answering the call to go back to school.
Answering the call to coordinate music for the Young Adults at General Assembly (YA@GA) worship services.

And, most recently, answering the call to coordinate music for Rev. Carol Bodeau's installation at Westside UU in Farragut this Fall.  (Thank you for the opportunity, Rev. Carol!)

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to sing with the New World Unity Ensemble and One Human Family at the Baha'i Unity Center in Atlanta.  (Another call that I answered - to come and sing and celebrate with my new friends from GA.)  One song continues to resonate with me, written by William McDowell.

I give myself away
I give myself away
So you can use me

Here I am
Here I stand
Lord my life is in your hands
Lord I'm longing to see
Your desires revealed in me

I give myself away
I give myself away
So you can use me

Take my heart
Take my life
As a living sacrifice
All my dreams
All my plans
Lord I place them in your hands

I give myself away
I give myself away
So you can use me

My life is not my own
To you I belong
I give myself
I give myself to you

To me, it illustrates the mystery behind this calling.  The power of waking up every morning called to serve.  The faith in a power greater than myself (whether you call that God, Lord, Love, Universe, Earth, Nature, Light...).  The deep knowing that on the other side of every obstacle is another opportunity.  Answering the call with eager anticipation of what new experience may come.

And so, I continue to wake up every morning and answer the call.

Here's to the start of another year pursuing music ministry.  Thank you all for joining me on the journey.

Living my faith (GA Recap, Part 3)

Be sure to check out Part 1 and Part 2 before you get here.

By Saturday, I felt free.  I was done with my commitments as Music Coordinator for the Young Adult worship services and all that remained was the business of GA and lending my voice to a Climate Change worship service.  I guess that's how I became open to something beyond music these last two days.

I really enjoyed being a vocalist for the Climate Change worship.  Much of the music you'll be hearing back at ORUUC.  Music that makes you feel grounded, connected.  But also music that challenges you to act.  By the time I left the climate change worship, I understood the power of music and worship to restore the weary and inspire the passive into action.

The worship was followed by the final rehearsal with the GA Choir.  One of the pieces, "We Will Walk Together," was written by Clif Hardin and commissioned by Heidi Brenner Bjerke - a member of my congregation - in memory of her Dad, who came out as a gay man at 78 years old.  I was proud as I shared the story with members of the GA Choir.  Music is so much more powerful when the musicians understand the context behind it.

Then, honestly, it was time for a break.  I hit the meditation room with Amanda and crashed.  Lesson learned: adrenaline only burns so long.  I awoke refreshed and ready for dinner with my fellow ORUUCians.  After a nice dinner catching up on our GA experiences, it was back to the convention center to see Dr. Cornel West deliver the Ware Lecture.  Dr. West structured his lecture after four questions W.E.B. DuBois said every generation must consider, namely:

• How shall integrity face oppression?
• What does honesty do in the face of deception?
• What does decency do in the face of insult?
• How does virtue meet brute force? 

       http://www.uuworld.org/articles/cornel-west-ware-lecture

My view of Dr. Cornel West

He called on the audience to live with integrity.  What I heard, as I listened to him speak, was a call to live my faith.  To act rather than just discuss.  To show rather than just tell.  And it totally changed my Sunday.

Sunday morning started off like any other General Assembly.  Sunday morning worship is always amazing.  Nothing restores your soul like singing with almost 200 people in front of an audience of nearly 5,000.  It's uplifting.  The GA Choir Director, Burt Gulhaugen, is so fun to work with.  My favorite piece (other than "We Will Walk Together, of course) was a gospel number called "Overflowing" by Brian Tate.  Our soloist, Cecelia Hayes, was simultaneously powerful and humble. What a great combination!  I could tell when she was singing about gratitude, she meant every word. During the sermon, Rev. Alison Miller made me laugh with the story of a teenager who said of our UU religion, "You've never heard of it."  And she inspired me with her ideas that we live into the stories we tell.

Then it was on to final pieces of the UU business meeting.  We quickly passed Actions of Immediate Witness supporting creating a global climate agreement and ending immigrant child and family detention.  Then we spent quite a long time debating a third AIW supporting the Black Lives Matter movement.  I would go into the process by which we finally approved it, but honestly I was disappointed with the wordsmithing and nitpicking that went into the process.  I was so proud, so moved, so riled up when it passed.  I felt personally vested in the youth that drafted the AIW and the young adult community who supported their efforts.  I felt like celebrating this step forward for our congregations.   And so I did!

It just so happened that a Black Lives Matter rally was spontaneously organized after the business meeting, but before the closing ceremony.  As a GA choir member, I was supposed to be on stage for the closing ceremony.  So I was faced with a pretty mind boggling decision - sing with the GA choir (which I LOVE and look forward to every year) - or participate in the demonstration.  I'll let you figure out where I ended up:

Photo by Jo Walter

Themes: action, demonstration, reflection

Every year, I come away with something new from GA.  This year, it was living into my desire to be a music director (I often introduced myself as an "aspiring music director"), proving to myself that I could select, organize, and lead music with musicians from around the country, and awakening into a deep sense of wanting to live my UU faith out loud.

See you next year in Columbus!

Celebrating my faith (GA Recap, Part 2)

This is a continuation of my GA Recap.  Be sure to read Part 1.

Thursday, for all intents and purposes, was a "rest day" for me at General Assembly.  At least, in the sense that I didn't have to run or participate in a rehearsal all day.  Instead, I got to savor my day at GA.  I attended workshops on getting UUs to "cross the road" (participate in social justice activities) and leveraging technology in music.  I took in some of the business side of GA as a delegate for my congregation.  I also had dinner with my friend Saffron, who moved to Portland from Tennessee about a year ago.  It was so good to have an evening away from the convention center!  I wrapped up my evening listening to the combined choirs of First UU Portland. It was an excellent program as they prepare to go on an international tour.  Their church has four adult choirs, plus handbell and children's groups.  What an amazing musical community!

Friday was the most inspiring and exhausting day at GA.  We woke up to news of the Supreme Court upholding marriage equality - an event so many among us had fought most of their lives for.  There was much celebration!  I got to sing on the main stage during the Synergy (bridging) worship on Friday evening, so there was a rehearsal with the GA band earlier in the day.  Then I lead the music rehearsal for our Young Adult worship - Yuri and Matt were back as our instrumentalists and our vocalists were joined by three members of One Human Family Choir.  Wow, what powerful vocals we had!

This is where I need to have a little tangent.  When Amanda and I selected music for our two Young Adult worship services, we chose mostly hymns for the first worship (easier to pull together in a quick time frame, since it was Day 1 of the conference) and mostly popular songs for the second worship (premise being that we would have more time to rehearse).  As it turned out, the only rehearsal time we had for the second worship was squeezed into 90 minutes on Friday afternoon.  I took a look at the music, the rehearsal time, and the musicians we had available ... and brainstormed some arrangements on the flight to Portland.  But goodness, was I still nervous.  As it turns out, working with talented musicians is pretty great.  We made quick work of the pieces, divided up solo lines, made up our own harmonies, and coordinated accompaniment.

We also led a workshop on creating worship for young adults.  Along with Amanda, Derrick, and Jim, we shared a few ideas and then let the participants create their own worship.  It was a create session with some really good discussion!

Friday was also Amanda's big day on the GA stage.  She and a colleague (Kenny Wiley) presented a GA Talk on Black Lives Matter.  I sat awestruck that this woman I have known for 6 years, who was afraid of microphones when we first met, commanding the stage with passion and vibrance.  It set me on a course for the rest of the week... that you'll have to wait until my next post to hear more about.

Then it was Friday night.  First, I got to sing with GA Music Coordinator Susan Peck, Amanda, and an incredible vocalist named Lauren Steele on the main stage to open up the Synergy bridging service.  What a treat to be able to honor youth transitioning to Young Adults in our faith.

Photo by Jake Morrill

Afterward, we hosted a worship service to officially welcome the new Young Adults into our community, complete with cake.  Those songs that I worried so much about?  There were a few mistakes, but it absolutely didn't matter -- nearly everyone in the room was singing along!  Our song choices were spot on.  My favorite moment of the day was singing the opening line to "Unwritten" (by Natasha Bedingfield) and the entire room lighting up and singing along.  It was a touching moment, to feel that connected to the young adult community gathered. I felt called and inspired to music ministry all over again.

Adding to the themes from this experience: celebration, inspiration, perspiration

Next up: Saturday - Sunday.  You'd never guess how this story ends!

Connecting with my faith (GA Recap, Part 1)

I've been asked to lead our church service on July 26 to reflect on my experience at this year's Unitarian Universalist General Assembly (June 24-28).  This annual gathering of UUs from around the world is part business meeting, part educational workshops, part rejuvenating worship, part social witness, and part networking event.  Thankfully, I knew I'd have to report back on my experience, so I took some notes on the flight home from Portland.  And lucky for you, faithful blog readers, you get the day-by-day recap of GA!  If you'd rather have the streamlined highlights, you'll have to come to ORUUC on July 26.

Let's start with the flight out to Portland on Tuesday, June 23.  After months of planning with Amanda Weatherspoon (my friend and Young Adult Worship Coordinator for GA), we had pinned down the music, musicians, and rehearsal schedules for our worship services for Young Adults at GA.  So, after getting up at 4AM and driving 2.5 hours to Nashville, I was sitting on my flight to Portland with my iPhone, headphones, and a notebook of sheet music.  I bought a magazine at the airport, but never read it.  Instead, I listened to the songs we had chosen... Songs of hope, songs of resilience, songs of strength.  I thought about the musicians who had agreed to lend their talents to making this music come alive in our worship services.  I took notes about possible arrangements that we could learn in a very short amount of time.  When I landed in Portland, it was still early afternoon - so I was able to catch up with Amanda, check in to the hotel and GA, and register for the GA choir.  The GA choir is my very favorite part of GA.  Singing with close to 200 people from around the country on Sunday morning and afternoon is just wonderful.  I also had the first of MANY milkshakes on Tuesday.  Many.  I kid you not.

Wednesday.  What a great day!  I love to be busy and I love to make music and that's really ALL we did on Wednesday.  We invited Young Adults to join us to make music with us and a couple of them (Em D. and Amanda P.) actually turned up to sing!  So, we did a vocal rehearsal earlier in the day, then pulled together vocals with the band (Matt Meyer, Yuri Yamamoto, and Jeff Chamberlain) later in the day.  Wednesday night's young adult worship was hymn-heavy so that we could pull things together quickly, put we were able to make quite a few of them have a more contemporary feel with the rhythm (thanks, Matt!) or the accompaniment (thanks, Yuri & Jeff!).  Amanda had also recruited two friends from Starr King seminary (Derrick and Jim), who really helped to fill out the harmonies on vocals.  It was a great group - I really enjoyed working with them.  Everyone pitched in with suggestions on arrangements, feel, and even a this-song-sucks-lets-pick-another-one.  It was a great, collaborative process and I think the music worked really well.  THEN, the endless opening ceremony happened.  Our worship was scheduled to begin right after the opening ceremony.  Unfortunately, that event ran over by close to an hour.  Normally, I think we would have just started somewhere in there and let folks come in as the ceremony wrapped up -- but we were collaborating with musicians who were also helping to provide music for the ceremony and couldn't get off stage!  Now there's a fun lesson for ya - musicians are busy folks.  When we finally did get our worship service started, even with the stress of it being late, we had a full room of very engaged young adults who were there ready to hear our message, share our ritual, and join their voices in our songs.  It was beautiful.  I had also been in charge of planning the altar for the worship, which ended up looking amazing.  We had planned for stones in the middle (to represent "you" in this space) and colored sand in the black napkins (to co-create our space), but what happened was something so much more creative and representative of the imaginations of our young adults.

We ended up continuing to add to this altar throughout the week.  It was incredible to watch it evolve.

I'm sensing themes here: collaboration, connection, evolution.

Next up: Thursday - Sunday.  There's so much more to tell!

A Good Story

So, in my day job of corporate training, we often design or retell stories to help participants understand the context and necessity for new training.  It creates emotional buy-in, builds a connection between their job and the training material, and keeps folks engaged.  In crafting and conveying a good story, there are certain elements that just *must* be there.  Most importantly, some sort of conflict or obstacle to overcome.  I've heard it said that no problem = no story.

Maybe my story to this point hasn't been a story at all.  Girl awakes with calling, girl pursues calling. Girl goes to school for calling, girls passes her classes with flying colors.  So maybe it should come as no surprise that this story needed some sort of problem.

Girls goes after dream job, doesn't get it.

What comes next is a few days of girl wallowing in self-pity about not being able to live out her calling, frustration about not hearing the call earlier in life, worry about ever being able to pursue this calling, doubt about whether the calling is real.  It's called a "crisis" in story terms.

Here's the thing - out of crisis comes growth.  And possibility.  And amazing friends and mentors who remind our girl that this is not the end.  There is work to do.  And an endless number of ways to develop and still live out this calling.

And so, I've been able to reflect on the positive parts of this experience.  I now have a resume, a development plan, and a vision for my music ministry.  I'm registered for more music classes this Fall.  I'm headed out to General Assembly in a few weeks to make music with UUs from across the country.  I'm working with mentors to identify development opportunities close to home.

The next step for me is to find a church willing to give me a chance in a professional music role.  This might be a Music Director in a smaller congregation or an Assistant Music Director in a larger one.  The important part is gaining professional experience, applying what I'm learning in school, and living out this calling to the best of my ability.  If you know of an opportunity, please pass it along.  I'm ready to put myself out there.  In story terms, I'm at the "turning point" and ready to move forward along a different path than I originally envisioned.

The rest, my friends, is still unwritten.  This story is far from over.

April Reflections

How quickly time passes when your time is shared between a day job, schoolwork, music performances, professional development, family, friends, and a church retreat!  How can it be the end of April already?

This is the last week of class for the semester.  In Music Appreciation, we're starting to discuss composers who actually lived in the same century I was born.  I'm not very fond of music with unresolved dissonance or music that is completely atonal, so it's been challenging to do the listening assignments.  For my last concert report, I went to a Knoxville Jazz Orchestra concert featuring Clairdee singing Billie Holiday and Carmen McRae tunes.  That was a really fun evening of music -- there will be more KJO concerts in my future.  In my Piano class, I think I've finally gotten a better handle on pushing the pedal at the right time.  We've also been through fingering on most of the major scales.  Of course, when I play them, in my head I still go, "1-2-3, 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3, 1-2-3-4-5."  I'll be happy when my fingers go where they're supposed to without my counting in my head.  And I'll be ecstatic when I can play scales with both of my hands together on the right fingers.  One step at a time.

It was a busy month for musical performances, too!  ORUUC had our annual Concert of Darkness on Good Friday.  Ashton brought in singers from UT to join our choir in the choral pieces, which really rounded out our sound.  I was excited that I knew a few of the singers -- I'm more connected than I realize sometimes!  I sang a solo for Easter (Bach's "My Heart Ever Faithful"), which was my first solo piece in service in a little while.  The Knoxville Chamber Chorale performed an amazing concert in Morristown, which my musical colleague Bryon, as well as my Dad and his girlfriend were able to attend.  It's been a wonderful ensemble to sing with this season and I'm looking forward to the collaborations with the Knoxville Opera and Knoxville Symphony that we have lined up for the Fall.  Knoxville Choral Society closed out our season with the Brahms "German Requiem," a work that really challenged me with its complex melodic lines and fugues.  

In the wider UU world, I'm excited to start nailing down details on my involvement in General Assembly in June.  I'm helping Amanda in her role as Young Adult Coordinator by serving as the music coordinator.  We're planning two worship services and a workshop - all with lots of music.  We met this week to discuss themes and high level plans, with more to come next week once my classes end.  What a cool summer project!

Finally, I should mention that the permanent Music Director job at my church has been posted and applications are due May 8.  This is both thrilling and scary for me.  I won't say too much about it, out of respect for the process, but I will tell you all that I plan to apply.  I would kick myself if I didn't go after this opportunity to follow my calling at my home congregation.  And I know, no matter what the outcome, that ORUUCs music program is my home while I continue to develop as a musician.  I'm excited to see the outcome of the process!

Reflections of March

Wow, there's a lot to cover from this month!  I'm not sure where to start, so let me start with school.

Music Appreciation: My ears are learning to listen.  I can hear the difference between an oratorio, a mass, and an opera.  And the difference between a solo concerto, a sonata, a string quartet, and a symphony.  Wow!  We've moved through the Classical Era and into the Romantic Period.  There are 13 composers to learn in this unit.  If I can keep them all straight...

Piano: You may have already heard my little rant on this one.  I've made myself proud by playing separate rhythms with my left and right hand.  It was a momentous occasion, quickly followed by the frustration of adding the damper pedal.  I finally got my fingers coordinated and now I have to get my feet involved?!?!?  It hurts my brain.  Ouch.

I'm still visiting churches to learn about other music programs.  I spent this past Sunday at First United Methodist here in Oak Ridge.  They have a vibrant, active music program that includes youth and children's choirs, an adult choir, handbell choirs, and a contemporary band.  Andrew Duncan, their Music Director, took time to walk me through the logistics of running such a large program - everything from managing a music library database to taking attendance at rehearsals to providing online rehearsal tracks for choir members.  The church has two traditional services and a contemporary service, all organized through an online worship planning tool.  I really appreciated the technological approach to organizing the music program.  I also got a chance to spend a little time with Jeff Kile, who directs the contemporary band, for insight into staffing the band and the tech deck.  I've got tons of notes and ideas for the future.

I've also had some personal growth this month.  Bill Brewer, who set me on my current music education path, passed away from cancer.  Bill had taken time from his busy schedule to consult with me when I didn't know where to start.  He was a calming presence when my life was in upheaval.  When I stopped by his office at the beginning of the semester to thank him for his advice, he invited me into his office, sat me down, and seemed genuinely interested in how I was doing in the program.  At his memorial, many people made mention of Bill's ability to make you feel like you had his undivided attention.  I truly felt that way about my experiences with him.  He lived authentically and strived to make beautiful music as long as he had breath.  He'll be a life-long role model for me.

I would be remiss if I didn't also mention another role model for me -- my Mom turned 70 this month!  I organized a party for her in Delaware.  As a special gift, I asked all of the attendees to give me a list of things they love about my Mom.  What inspiring responses I received!  The ones that stood out to me were her willingness to help her friends, her deep love of animals, and her resilience in the face of life's troubles.

Spring is here and my journey continues... I'm excited for all the things I'll learn in April!

What I'm Learning - March 2015

It's Spring Break -- and thankfully the weather is finally convincing me as such.  Given we're about half way through my semester, I thought now would be a good time to write down things I'm learning, both in and out of the classroom.

In Music Appreciation, we've wrapped up the Baroque Era and taken on the Classical Era.  I have to admit, I'm thankful to get back to homophony - the polyphony and embellishments of Baroque music make it difficult to hum along with the melody.  And, as a singer, I want to be able to hum the tune!  (Did you hear that little analysis there?)  I went to a concert on Saturday night that featured Grammy-winning classical guitarist Jason Vieaux with our local symphony (Oak Ridge Symphony).  I have a number of friends involved in performing with or supporting the symphony -- and O used it as one of my required concerts to write up for class.  As luck would have it, about half of the program was Baroque music -- and one piece was actually highlighted in my textbook.  I kinda feel like I could talk intelligibly (at a high level) about Bach's Brandenburg Concerto, which is a little unsettling.  It was also my first experience hearing a classical guitar perform with an orchestra.  I liked it quite a bit!

Ah, Class Piano.  Five-finger patterns have turned into arpeggios and major/minor chords.  We've even done a little harmonization with guidance from our textbook.  We just started dealing with minor key signatures, which I think are probably the most challenging thing I've seen so far this semester.  I may spend spring break memorizing the relative minor for each major key, just to reduce my anxiety.  

Outside of school, I've been connecting with music folks.  This is by far the most fun and most informational part of my development.  I've participated in several services now at the First Presbyterian Church here in Oak Ridge and have plans to visit First United Methodist later this month.  I'm learning about music program structure, following liturgy, working with choirs of all sizes and purposes, partnering with clergy, and just generally how services from different faith traditions work.  My family never went to church much when I was a kid, so just experiencing different formats is enlightening!

I've also been connecting with musicians in the UU world.  I had a great chat with Jan Gartner, a professional development guru with the Unitarian Universalist Association, about professional development and not being afraid to create my own plan.  She also pointed me toward some great resources on transitioning from a congregation member to a staff member, which will be so helpful in preparing me for my interview process at ORUUC later this spring.  Jan also suggested that I reach out to Jason Shelton, Minister of Music in Nashville, to hear his story.  I'm looking forward to connecting with him later this month.

Perhaps what I'm most proud of nowadays is being tapped to help the GA Young Adult Coordinator, Amanda Weatherspoon, with all things music for the young adult elements at this summer's General Assembly in June. It's a really exciting opportunity -- and I could never say no to an opportunity to make music with UUs from across the country.  (Or no to Amanda, really.)

All this to say, I kept myself busy in recent weeks when the snow and ice kept me away from my usual activities.  Now the weather is warming up and I'm ready to tackle the next season!  

Thank you all, again, for your support and love.  I feel it every day.

Reflections - February 2015

Wow, what a busy month it has been!  There is a lot to reflect on - hopefully I can remember it all.

School - so far, so good.  It's translating 5-finger patterns into major chords for me in Class Piano.  Moving on to the Baroque Period (1600-1750) after studying the Middle Ages and the Renaissance in Music Appreciation.  I love that we're getting into music that I've performed before (Handel's Messiah is in this unit).  Unfortunately, school was cancelled all of last week due to snow and ice, so I'm guessing we'll be moving through content pretty quickly to catch up.  I probably should have been reading ahead on my snow days...

Church Music - I made a commitment to myself in January that I would spend time outside of my congregation in the coming months to learn more about other church music programs and worship formats.  I got the pleasure of starting the adventure this morning at First Presbyterian Church here in Oak Ridge.  So much music in their service - hymns, responses, prelude, postlude, plus an anthem - with a choir that sings every week.  I was honored to be invited to sing the anthem and serve as cantor for one of the Psalms.  I even got to wear a choir robe.  I thought it was wonderful that Rev. Sharon leads the choir in a blessing before service.  Their choir is truly seen as a vessel of God's word.  That's powerful.  I'm looking forward to another visit at First Pres in March.

Concerts in February - As in, this will never happen again.  :)  Poor Peter Mayer traveled all the way to Oak Ridge from Minnesota for a concert last night.  All the weather forecasts said the temperature would rise into the mid 40s by Noon, clearing away the wintry mix we'd been fighting all week.  But, painfully, it never got above 34 yesterday.  Everything stayed frozen or a dangerous slushy mix.  The church parking lot was an ice rink.  So, we decided to cancel the concert.  Which, of course, is an administrative nightmare.  There are MANY thank you's in order for all the folks that worked so hard to get the concert ready and several more who helped host Pete this morning while I ran off to sing at First Pres.  I was totally depressed to miss his musical offerings to our service, but I did get a chance to touch base with him briefly afterwards.  I got to share with him a little bit about this journey that I'm on.  He was impressed that I was going back to school and really making a go of this dream.  It was fulfilling to get that kind of support from a musician I admire so much!

Support - I have found all kinds of support in so many places.  Friends who watch my kids so I can pursue my dreams.  A spouse who watches the kids more than his fair share and has started doing laundry - I can't believe how spoiled I feel when clean clothes just magically appear!  Music colleagues who share resources, give me advice, and invite me to sing.  People who make a special effort to tell me how they liked my song or how I led a hymn.  A day job where I feel valued and supported in pursuing my passions.  And just when I need a break, friends who invite me to craft class and church events that reconnect me to my support network.  Each of you reading this blog make a difference in my life.  Thank you.

Special Thank You - Today was especially long for me.  I was at First Pres by 9 to rehearse, followed by service at 10, then a church event (Everybody's Birthday!) at ORUUC, then a kick off meeting for OWL (sexuality education course for my 11-year old), then a rehearsal and performance of Psalms, then grocery shopping for the week.  My husband is out of town, so my 9-year old daughter had to tag along with me ALL day.  As in, go to service at a church she has never attended (but thankfully had a friend there who she spent the night with), leave quickly afterward to go to the Birthday event and ORUUC kids choir rehearsal, then sit around for TWO HOURS of my meeting (Netflix on the iPad - I'm not proud), then sit around for another HOUR of rehearsal and another HOUR of concert.  She sat attentively and respectfully during the concert BY HERSELF.  Then helped me with grocery shopping without a complaint.  I would have given her anything she wanted in return for dragging her around all day.  And all she asked for was peppermint hot chocolate from Starbucks.  You got it, kiddo.  I'm adding a special shout out on my blog because I could NOT have made it through today without her cooperation.  She's amazing.

Anne Goes to School

School started this past week.  I'm taking two classes: Music Appreciation and Class Piano I.  Here's what I've learned so far:

1. Get over it.  Yes, I am the oldest student in the class.  I spent a remarkable amount of time getting dressed for class on the first day (do I wear professional clothes because I'm an adult?  jeans and a t-shirt because I'm a student?  sweats because that's what I'm used to working from home?). When I got to class, I realized that I just need to let go of my self-consciousness and instead worry about learning. You know, the thing I'm here to do.  By day two, I stopped caring and started listening.

2. Time for homework!  Oh wow, had I forgotten about this part.  When I registered for classes, I set aside time for class.  Rearranging my work day and workout schedule to make way for class time.  I totally forgot about homework time.  And I'm an incredibly slow reader, so doing 20-30 pages in a night takes forever.  Plus, there's listening homework, too.  I need to revisit my schedule to carve out homework time. And practice time for piano. 

3. I know stuff!  Hey, did you know that I know stuff?  Who knew?  On Day 1 in Music Appreciation class, I was able to identify that a song we were listening to only had strings.  So that was validating.  In our first piano class, I already knew the notes on the keyboard and basic rhythmic notation. Whew.

4. I don't know stuff!  As I read my Music Appreciation book, I find myself overwhelmed with descriptions of music - dark, rich, brilliant, piercing, warm, expressive.  These are kind of foreign words to me  at this point.  I recognize that interpretation is really left up to the listener, but I feel like I've got a lot to learn in choosing words to convey what I hear.  That is, of course, the point of the class.  So I'm in the right place.

5. I'm already learning stuff!  I've never thought about five-finger patterns before.  (Ask me what they are when you see me.)  I'm learning to play them for all the major keys. With both hands.  My left hand doesn't like to keep the beat, I find.  It's not used to using all the fingers independently.  I've also learned there are instruments in the orchestra that I've never heard of.  Including an English horn, which is neither English nor a horn.  And ways of playing instruments that have formal names I've never heard of, like pizzicato (again, ask if you want to know).  And a pick, guitarists, has another name.  I also learned that notes have set frequencies.  Something tells me I'd enjoy a science of music course.  

So far, so good, friends.  Thank you for the continued support.  :)

How I've Kept Busy

These past few weeks have been emotionally pretty challenging for me.  My sense of self-worth is built on being helpful.  So I spent the first few weeks of January trying to convince myself that I could be helpful in ways beyond directing the music program at ORUUC.  Ashton has taken over the program so seamlessly that I felt kind of "empty" with such a reduced workload.  And since school doesn't start until later this week, I didn't think I would have much to fill the void.  Thankfully, that wasn't the case.

First came a request from Anna Thomas, the Music Director at First Presbyterian, to sing "O, Divine Redeemer" for a memorial service.  I gladly agreed and the whole experience was so fulfilling.  It met my need to fill the time void with rehearsing as well as my desire to be helpful.  The service was this past weekend and I was filled with such gratitude to be able to share my voice. 

Next, my new status as "student" afforded me the opportunity to attend a presentation by President Obama, Vice President Biden, and Second Lady Dr Jill Biden at my new school, Pellissippi State Community College. I mean, what are the chances?  That I now live in Tennessee, that I decided to go back to school, that I registered at Pellissippi, that I got a ticket in the lottery, that my work schedule is flexible enough to allow me to attend... It was just a once in a lifetime opportunity.  I truly enjoyed it, despite my rants on starving that many of you have heard.

I've also spent time with my family.  We all went to see the new "Annie" movie, then my daughter and I watched the stage production in Knoxville.  We also went with some friends to see "Into the Woods."  I like to think of this extra time with the kids as making up for all the time I didn't see them in the Fall, but really I think my kids don't know what to do with me when I'm around.  I get groans when I say I'm making dinner at home instead of going out.  :)

Most recently, I've filled my time with anti-racism work.  I've co-led an effort at our church (with Heidi Brenner) to create an Allies for Racial Equity group.  We had our first meeting this weekend and I was really pleased with the turnout.  Many of us attended the local MLK Fellowship Breakfast this morning and several others participated in the Knoxville MLK Day parade.  We have a group of 6 people getting trained to deliver Beloved Conversations workshops next weekend, so that our entire congregation can benefit from this powerful workshop.  We've got a group planning to join the 50th Anniversary of the "Bloody Sunday" March in Selma.  And there are so many more ideas coming forward from this team.  I'm really proud to be a part of it.

So, there you have it... how I spent the past few weeks.  Wednesday officially begins my new chapter as "student" once again.  I'm looking forward to it - with a little hesitation in being twice the age of most of the people in the room.  But that's a story for another day.  :)

Wrapping up as Temporary Music Director

As of December 31, I wrapped up my role as Temporary Music Director for ORUUC.  But not before a few final lessons could be learned!

On Monday, Dec 22, the day before our Solstice Concert, I came down with the flu.  Like, the real flu - where I went to the clinic and got a swab up my nose to find out that I had Flu A.  Chills and fever and all that stuff they talk about on TV.  I won't lie, it SUCKED.  I spent three full days in bed, even with the Tamiflu.  I felt physically horrible and emotionally even worse.  I could not fulfill my commitment to host the Solstice Concert -- and I also wasn't able to attend Christmas Eve service.  I felt like I let my congregation down.  And I was also disappointed that I wouldn't be able to direct the choir in these two events.  It was heart-wrenching.

I was saved by several music heroes.  I'm calling them out in my blog because I'm just so darn appreciative of these people.  Michael Raymond took charge of logistics for both events.  Nancy Starr directed the choir pieces.  And Gina Grubb made sure the band was set up for success.  This team took over for me when all I could do was send emails from my phone on my sick bed.  And both events happened.  Music was made.  And although I was not a part of it, I felt like my planning contributed in some small way to making it all happen.

After I felt a bit better and was no longer contagious, I went into the ORUUC Music Office to pack my things and leave some helpful information (passwords, coming events, etc.) for our new Interim Music Director, Ashton.  It was bittersweet - feeling proud of what I've accomplished in keeping our music program moving for the past three months and really sad to let go.  This role has confirmed my calling ... and I will always be grateful for that.

This past Sunday was spent in meetings with Ashton, describing responsibilities and the status of various projects.  Then, as my final act as Music Director, I directed the choir in a Christmastide Festival.  It's a way for our local church choirs to get together and hear the pieces performed around town during the holidays.  And although 15 or 16 of our choir members had said they would be available, the flu and other illnesses are still going around... so 8 showed up.  That might freak out other Music Directors, but looking at those who were willing to sing, I knew we'd be alright.  I decided to sing along, too.  And, thankfully, I got used to directing from within a group when I led our a cappella choir in high school - so head nod cut offs come naturally.  Our small ensemble of 9 (Nancy, April, Annie, Linda, Michael, Dave, Larry, Duane, and me), accompanied by our wonderful pianist Charlotte, rocked the Christmastide Festival with tight harmonies and accurate cut offs.  It was a fitting - and beautiful - way to transition from leader to choir member. Thank you all.

And that brings me to this week.  This week, I don't have to organize or prepare or direct anything for ORUUC Music.  My music classes don't start for two more weeks.  Other than my regular Monday evening and Wednesday evening commitments, my schedule is open.  So, I'm trying to enjoy this brief downtime.  Anyone wanna do lunch?