Step 2: Find a Mentor.. Or 2... Or 10.

I have been truly humbled by the response to my calling to be a UU Music Director.  I'm equally amazed by the number of people who have offered to help me in some way.  I am reminded that I have surrounded myself with good people, and that this is an ideal time in my life to take on this challenge.

To find mentors, I didn't need to look far.  And both offered their time and talents as soon as they heard my story.

Wendel is the current UU Music Director for 3 area churches and the Music Coordinator for the UU General Assembly for the next 2 years.  As you can probably guess, he's well connected in the denomination.  Beyond that, he's an accomplished musician, conductor, and educator.  Of course, that also means he has a lot of work to do -- and some of that can be delegated to some poor unsuspecting aspiring music director.  This fall, I'll have chance to lead choir warm ups and direct the choir in a song or two.  I'm so excited and thankful for these opportunities.

Nancy is our previous ORUUC Music Director and the first UU choir director I ever had the honor of singing for.  She has a completely different style from Wendel, so it's great to learn from their diverse perspectives.  Nancy started as the church accompanist, then choir director, then music director before retiring from the role.  Her gift is really wonderful insights into the practical side of the role, from planning rehearsals to staying on top of choir music.  Nancy and I had a really nice talk today about everything from making ends meet on a musician's salary to giving voice lessons.

I imagine that these won't be my only two mentors on this path.  But they're the first two, and for that I'll always be grateful.

Guess what?  If you're reading this, you're probably going to be my mentor at some point, too.  I like to ask questions.  I like to hear what people think.  I have spent my career up until this point digesting large amounts of information and highlighting the most important nuggets, so it's one thing about this journey that I feel totally prepared for.

Feel free to comment below with any nuggets of wisdom about Music Directors.  Whether you have been part of the choir or directing it, I know there's something I can learn from you.

Step 1: Share My Story

A week ago, I woke up with a purpose.  A calling.  A flame so bright inside me that I cried.  I want to inspire others on their spiritual journeys and help them to create meaning in their lives through music.  I want to change the world through song.  I want to be a UU Music Director.

With the amount of emotion welling up inside me last Tuesday morning, I knew I had to tell someone.  So, as I waited for my return flight home from the UU Musicians Network conference in San Diego, I found myself writing a message to my UU Music Director, Wendel.  I shared my story, my sense of calling, how I was pretty sure I was going to cry on the airplane.  I also wrote to my husband, expressing my sense of relief at finally figuring out what I was meant to do in this world.  During my travels on Tuesday, I also sent a message to Amanda, my close friend and UU seminarian.  Then, I waited for responses.

As emotional as I was that day, I'm still me and still somehow doubted that what I was feeling was... real, genuine.  I mean, I didn't hear some greater voice of God telling me to do this.  I just woke up with an undeniable feeling that I was meant to be a Music Director.  But I had heard along the way that when you find your life's purpose, it makes you cry.  And for unemotional, analytical me... Wow, did I feel like I wanted to cry all day.  Still, I sent three messages as a way to really test the waters.  I half expected the responses to be something like, "That's sweet, but keep your day job."

The responses from these three people were so different, but so EXACTLY what I needed to hear.  Wendel generously offered to help me figure out how to get from Point A to Point B.  My husband was excited that I felt so strongly about my purpose and offered to support me through this process.  And Amanda, with four words of reassurance ("I seriously love this") and an hour of going back and forth on Messenger, helped analytical me give in completely to spiritual me.

I've told quite a few people since last Tuesday about my calling.  But these three people were the three people chosen by the Universe to make sure I knew that what I was feeling was truth.  So, here I am a week later, with emotions that still catch me off guard and a network of friends and family that have validated my calling and offered their support.  It's all quite overwhelming.

A Series of Moments

As I start explaining my story to others (sometimes even without crying), I find myself referring to a series of moments that all led to last Tuesday morning. Each one independently didn't seem terribly life-changing at the time, but the force of all these combined experiences has led me to my calling to be a UU Music Director. As Tandy so eloquently put it yesterday, "Ok, universe, I get it!"

Here are just a small selection of my moments...

 ... Several years ago now, my friend Gina complimented me after a solo at church by saying something to the effect of, "I can't believe you don't have a career in music." I think I told everyone I know about this comment. I felt it so deeply. I've received praise before, and since, but this compliment just felt more... important than the others. I treasured it.

... In high school, I started an a cappella group (InToneNation) with two of my friends. And they humored me by letting me direct the group. Twenty years later, the group still exists and recently hosted a reunion event. The stories I heard from alumni made me... honestly... jealous. David, one of the original group members, just changed his career from ESOL education to music education and took his first music teaching role. Rachel, another director for the ensemble after I graduated, is the Artistic Director for a choir in DC and persuing a DMA in choral conducting. Rachel was so encouraging when I told her I felt like it was maybe too late for me to do something professionally with music.

... This year's UU Musician's Network conference was one big series of moments.  Feeling at ease and like I knew what was going on.  People in workshops asking the same questions I would have asked.  Workshop presenters saying things I would say.  Working with people who said nice things about my vocal ability.  Watching my roommate and good friend Nancy be inspired to dance as we sang with a band in front of a congregation full of strangers.  The comment that pushed me over the edge was our band vocal leader saying, "We were all choir members once."

There are so many other moments, I wish I could name them all.  And so many people who have convinced me to try something new or encouraged me when I mentioned wanting to learn more.

Take Amanda, for instance, who partnered with me to create an ongoing monthly music-filled worship service.  And Wendel, who took time to fill in holes in my music theory knowledge just because I asked -- and continues to challenge me as both a friend and mentor.  But more on them in another post.

Ok, universe.  I get it.

And Then This Happened

It was just your average Tuesday.
Except it wasn't.
After years of searching, stretching from high school through my mid-30s, I woke up with one single thought.

I want to be a UU Music Director.

No other thought came to my head. (Except maybe, "What time is my flight again?")

I want to be a UU Music Director.

When I thought this thought, it made me glad.
It made me excited.
It made me want to cry.

I want to be a UU Music Director.

It was if my entire life led to this thought in this moment.
On a Tuesday morning.
On my way to the airport.

I want to be a UU Music Director.

Ordinarily, I'd take time to analyze a thought like this. I mean, I don't have a music degree. What I know about music I've learned through paying attention to my choir conductors and singing in every group that invited me to sing.

I want to be a UU Music Director.

Ordinarily, I'd spend time considering the likelihood that this would work. Musicians intimidate me. Until a couple of years ago, I wouldn't even call myself a musician. I decided musicians were people who got paid for music. And I do not.

I want to be a UU Music Director.

Ordinarily, I'd write off a thought like this because I have two kids that somehow need to get through college in a few years.

I want to be a UU Music Director.

Nothing wavered in this thought. Nothing.

I want to be a UU Music Director.

And so it began... my musical journey.  Thanks for joining me.