Change of Plans

Plan the work.

Work the plan.

But what happens when the plan no longer works?

Today is the first day of school at UT, where I was accepted this Spring to pursue my Bachelors Degree in Sacred Music.  I, however, won't be going.  It has been a very tough summer deliberating on the best way to continue to work toward my calling to music ministry. Many obstacles are standing in my way and I was finally forced to change my plan.  It's been a frustrating part of my journey, but I'm happy with where I'm headed for now.

Let me bring everyone up to speed.  Last December, Josh and I decided to downsize to make room for my college tuition (and shortly after, the kids' tuitions).  We decided to build a house, figuring our current home would sell in about the same time as the construction of the new one.  Also, this Spring I've been taking on added responsibilities at my day job, including taking a professional certification exam in instructional design.  (I'm still waiting on the results.).  I thought by Fall everything would be ... settled.  I thought the house would be sold, we'd be moved into the new house, and my work would return to its normal pace.  Not a single one of those things has happened!  Financially, this looks like two mortgage payments.  At work, this looks like limited time resources to pull away for class.

This summer, with school and choir rehearsals down, I was able to make dinner for my family at least 3 times a week.  Eating together at the dinner table regularly has really helped me feel more connected with my kids, who are growing up way too fast. I decided that no matter what, I'm going to make sure this continues so I don't miss out on watching them grow.  Also this summer, I got a biometric screening done that has me wanting to commit to a regular exercise program.  So now there are even more competing priorities and demands on my time.

Cut to this Fall, where I was signed up for 6 credits at UT that would cost me more than $3K and eat up 8 hours of my work week, not including drive time of 30+ minutes each way.  The more I tried to reconcile my available time and finances with the new schedule, the more I realized that it just wasn't going to work.  I felt like pursuing that schedule would mean either not being fully engaged at work, not being able to make ends meet financially, not being fully committed to my school work, not being able to commit to regular exercise, or not being fully present to my family.  So, I had to make some hard decisions based on my priorities. In the end, I decided not to attend UT this semester.  It breaks my heart after working so hard to get accepted.

For now, I've come up with a plan for this semester.  I'm going to complete my AFA (Associates of Fine Arts) at Pellissippi State Community College.  I only have two semesters of voice lessons to complete the degree, and I can study with the same teacher I was going to be working with at UT.    This solves both the time and financial resource issue for now and makes me feel like I'm continuing to follow my path without sacrificing my other life priorities.

I'm considering lots of options for the Spring semester, including returning to UT, finding an online program, or ending with the AFA and perusing the UU Music Leader Credential. I welcome your thoughts on potential next steps.  Ultimately, I just want to be the best music director I can be with the right training to support my work -- without sacrificing my family or career or health in the process.  How that path looks isn't exactly clear, but I'm walking on it anyway.

Two Years Later

This week, I've been at the UU Musicians Network conference in Madison, WI.  You may remember that it was on the final day of this conference two years ago that I awoke with this calling toward music ministry (read about it).  I've been on an amazing journey ever since.  This year was my first year attending in a staff music role -- and I was so proud to represent my two congregations there.  I have to admit that I still feel a little intimidated, but definitely starting to build some relationships and have a little more confidence in being surrounded by music professionals.  Also, as I started to discuss my “day job” with folks, I realized something - I have some valuable skills in learning and development, online learning, social media, and web design that I could be putting to work for musical organizations like UUMN.  I seriously need to stop compartmentalizing my careers!

There were three big themes for me at this conference, outside of connecting and re-connecting with music colleagues.  First and foremost was shared ministry in worship design.  We spent the week exploring intentional engagement in radical collaboration as well as specifics on how to “think like a filmmaker” when designing worship with our keynote speaker, Dr. Marcia McFee.  Think about it - many of us leave a 2.5 hour movie wanting more, but get 20 minutes into worship and start wondering when coffee hour will start.  Both events are looking to tell a story that you will connect to emotionally, remember, and repeat to others.  Marcia went to filmmakers to ask for their tips on how to keep an audience engaged.  During her keynotes, she shared some amazing tips for both planning and delivery that involve engaging the senses, providing a sense of continuity, and the many roles music can play in worship. I took lots of notes and really look forward to working with Westside’s worship and music teams this year to experiment!

The next theme was children’s music ministry.  This year, the UUMN hosted the UU Children’s Choir.  What a fabulous group of young singers from across the country!  The children gave us a wonderful performance, participated in workshops, and sang with us in our Sunday worship services.  We had a children's choir repetoire session to explore new music and participated in workshops focused on both vocal development and movement for young singers.  The director for the choir this year, Emily Ellsworth, is so inspiring to me as a children's choral conductor in the way she prepares the kids to be true musicians.  Her key message was that the children's choir is only as good as the person standing in front of them - we (adults) tend to place limits on our kids rather than expanding their knowledge and respecting their ability to learn.  I'm coming away with lots of fun ideas for ORUUC’s children's choir and a new respect for the possibilities of my group. More importantly, after hearing the children sing, I came away with renewed energy for inspiring young singers to connect with their faith through song.  Tears welled up in my eyes every time I heard them sing, “listen to the sound of my voice,” in our joint piece, “Give Us Hope.”

The third theme I want to lift up is that of integrating Tai Chi Chuan with vocal music and conducting.  Our choral clinician, Dr. Adam Con, showed us how to infuse Tai Chi principles into our singing, teaching us several key beaths from our lungs, kidneys, liver, and heart.  We had the honor of performing his new work with Joshua Rist, "Guigen," derived from the Six Healing Sounds.  I will carry with me that sensation of stillness and calm, with feet firmly rooted on the earth and our bodies relaxed like a tree swaying gently in the wind.  He also discussed the use of circular gestures when conducting to get a fuller, more linear sound.  And showed us some common conducting posture errors that can lead to a poor sound from our singers.  I've heard he's writing a book - I can't wait to read it when it comes out.

There was so much more to this conference than I can put into one blog post.  I joined discussions on musical meditation and on small church music ministry to gather ideas, resources, and connections.  I participated in engaging, meaningful worship every morning.  I re-connected with colleagues over ice cream and made new friends at the banquet and on the hotel shuttle. I really can't wait to see everyone again next summer in Arlington, VA!

As outgoing UUMN President Tim Anderson wrapped up the conference, he said he hoped that we all felt loved during our time together.  I know that I felt loved and supported by every person I spoke to during the conference.  I am exhausted, but certainly fed for the journey ahead.

Anne and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

It's been a while since I've updated my personal blog.  And, I need to reflect on this no good, very bad day.  So, let me attempt to provide some updates while also sharing the story of my day today.  

I woke up late this morning.  Mostly because I stayed up late last night to keep reading "The Fifth Wave".  It's been a long time since I've been able to read a book for pleasure.  I've been trying to make some time for myself lately for personal leisure and exercise, but then I have to cut into my sleep time (which, coincidentally, is also time for myself).

When I finally got out of bed, I remembered that I hadn't finished my theory homework.  Theory is going well for me so far this semester.  As an analytical person, the series of rules for part writing seem to come pretty easily, even though I have an occasional parallel fifth in there. 

As I was working on my homework, my daughter Laura thought she would be helpful and let our dogs back in.  They had been outside for about 20 minutes or so.  It's been rainy for days (and days and days) now, so the yard is pretty much nothing but mud.  As luck would have it, the dogs ran right past Laura, tracking mud throughout the house and then right into my office where I was working.  Frustrated and sleep deprived and rushing to get my work done, I screamed at Laura to clean the floors while I bathed the dogs for the third time in 24 hours.

After finishing my homework and managing to get everyone off to school and work, I finally sat down to get some "real" work done on my day job before heading off to school.  My day job is going pretty well and I was really looking forward to participating in a virtual conference this week for Humana learning professionals.  As I checked my work email and planned out my work day, the storm started.  

It was really windy and dumping buckets of rain, which made me nervous that one of the hidden leaks in my house (we have 2) would act up.  As I put a bucket into place, I heard a thump, but didn't think much of it.  Mostly, I was annoyed that I had to wait out the heavy rain to leave for school, delaying my morning yet again.

The rain calmed down and I headed to campus to get some ear training lab work in before my theory class.  Only, when I opened the garage door, I saw this:

I checked to make sure there wasn't a hole in the roof of my house, snapped this photo, then left for school.  I sent it to my hubby and our neighbors (the tree is in between our houses).  Does that give you a sense of how rational I am?  I knew the tree wasn't going anywhere and there was no immediate danger to my house, so why miss class?

When I got to school, the lab was locked, so I went to get one of my instructors to open it.  Only it wasn't actually locked.  Hadn't I tried the lock?  Well, no.  It was raining and I was frustrated, so when I saw the light off I just made some assumptions.  Of course.

As if my morning needed the extra special kick-in-the-pants, I spent nearly an hour working on harmonic dictation.  I can tell you right now, it sucks.  I'm hoping for a miracle to get my ears to understand what they're hearing before the end of the semester.  Pray for me.

After school, I came home and examined the damage more fully.

Thankfully, there was really very little damage.  The gutter was still fine, the shed was fine, no big holes in the roof.  My awesome neighbors were already working on getting a tree guy. I tried to get back to my "real" work, only to my surprise there was no power in the house (totally unrelated to the tree, but related to the storms for sure).

So, I gave up on work for a bit and went to lunch to wait out the power repair.  I came home an hour later, when they promised the power would be back on, and still no power.  So I waited another hour (using up the last of my phone battery).  Still no power, so I decided to head to Starbucks with the kids for power and wi-fi.  Only as we were walking out the door, the neighbors kids came to ask if they could stay at our house.  Turns out they were locked out because of the power outage.  

So, I had to wait for the neighbors kids' Dad to come home and then for the tree guys to remove the tree.

Of course, now it is three hours later and I still have done no "real" work.  And the power is still out.

I finally get to leave for Starbucks.  Within minutes of getting my peppermint mocha in my hand, my son texts me that the power is on.  Of course it is, now that I'm at Starbucks. These are the days when "working from home" is not all it's cracked up to be.

Of course, my evening was packed, so I couldn't stay at Starbucks very long.  It was already time to start my chauffeur service to Laura's karate class and come home to more yet more dog washing, more things to do, more places to be.   

Perhaps because of the rough start to my day, I was feeling pretty grumpy by the time my evening rehearsals came around.  First up was rehearsal at First Pres for their Service of Psalms on Sunday afternoon (y'all come).  Of course, that meant missing ORUUC choir for second week.  It's a powerful reminder of the difficult choices I have to make sometimes to follow this calling and gather experience to live out my purpose.  I've noticed a growing sense of frustration rising in me -- I'm not able to commit to the organizations and causes I love, like stepping down from leadership in our Allies for Racial Equity group.  The passion is still there, but I have to be reasonable about the limits of my body and time.  It's tough.

I had to put piano lessons on hold this semester for similar reasons.  My plan is to do weekly lessons this summer to keep progressing in my skills.  But, for now, I can't add one more thing to the schedule.  Lots of frustrated self talk.

Why won't I take more risks with the things I do make time for?  Why don't I volunteer when a teacher or conductor asks for one?  What am I so afraid of?  Why do I have to practice everything behind closed doors before I try it in front of others?  I wish I were more comfortable taking risks.

Sheesh.  My day has totally damaged my psyche.  Time for a break.

So, I dragged my sad self into rehearsals at First Pres and then ORUUC.  I was graciously welcomed by both congregations.  I am lucky to be surrounded by excellent musical mentors and talented vocalists in both churches.  I come to the end of my day and am asked to do a solo for this weekend.  And I say yes, determined to take more risks and learn from the chaos inside my head today.

And I am lucky to come to the end of this day with deep gratitude for all that is my life, even when it gets a little hectic.  

This, too, shall pass.

Season of Song (December 2015)

Wow, December certainly flew by with great fanfare.  Let me see if I can sing it's praises.

First, school ended for the semester at the beginning of the month.  Look ma, all A's!  I was proud to overcome the challenges of balancing school work with the rest of my life (day job, church jobs, choir rehearsals, spouse, kids, etc.) and the challenges of the classes themselves (remembering to include the inversion, trying to hear inversions in the ear training lab, playing my jury piano pieces).  I've also enjoyed this break between semesters to recuperate!

As is my usual plan for December, I spent the month singing.  A lot.  The month kicked off with the Messiah Sing-a-long.  The night of the first concert, I got to watch my son Jonathan play with the Jr. Honors Band Clinic before I ran to Norris to sing.  Yay for my musical family!  The evening of the second concert, I got to sing my favorite solo from the work - "Come Unto Him".  Just so beautiful and peaceful - like a sung prayer of rest.  I sigh just thinking about it.

Next came the Clayton Holiday Concerts with the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra.  Most people wonder why in the world I'd want to sing 4 concerts in one weekend.  Honestly, I'm in it for the snow and Santa.  I get to celebrate Christmas with hundreds of people four times in one weekend.  I get to watch kids light up when they see Santa.  I get to hear the audience laugh with glee when the snow falls. I get to watch the Maestro show off his fancy candy cane socks and conduct with a glimmer in his eye and hands waving like Bugs Bunny.  I get to be part of the ongoing selfie competition within the Knoxville Choral Society.  Like this one:

There's just so much fun to be had, and I don't mind 4 concerts in one weekend -- as long as that's not my schedule *every* weekend!

Side note: For two weeks in December, Joshua was out of town, leaving me to be a temporary single Mom.   It reinforced to me how difficult it would be for me to pursue music if I had to manage on my own.  Thankfully, we've got a number of great babysitters to step in when needed.  But my bank account wouldn't be able to support my music schedule on a regular basis.  If you have a friend who is a single Mom musician, please offer them free babysitting.

In the midst of final rehearsals and preparations for Christmas Eve, we managed to sneak in a bit of caroling.  Four of us sang carols at Greenfield Senior Living, much to the delight of residents (including members of our church).  It was a good feeling to look around and see the residents singing along with us.  I felt like we provided a personal musical moment to each of them.

Then came the big day - Christmas Eve!  After last year's fiasco, I was itching to celebrate the season as much as possible.  And my wish was granted in full.  The evening began with ORUUC's Children's Choir singing "Every Voice That Sings" and "Do You Hear What I Hear".  They did such a great job - I wanted to cry and shout and cheer!  They had memorized their music, waited patiently for their turn to sing, and sang in two parts.  Way to go, kids!  It was a proud moment that looked kind of like this:

I love that my daughter Laura made special arrangements to get back from a trip with her grandparents so that she could sing with us.  We sat on the chancel together to lead hymns for the congregation.  Yay for my musical family!

After the ORUUC service, I drove over to Westside to lead two choir pieces in the Christmas Eve service.  I had written my first blog post at Westside earlier in the week, so I was hoping to bring that joy of the season to inspire great music.  Thanks to Linda, we had a little Christmas miracle of a soprano section.  We sat the choir up on the chancel -- it felt good to have them so prominent in the service.  And when they stood to sing - what a wonderful sound!  I enjoyed a piece that Mary Donovan picked out that combines the choir singing "Peace Peace" with the congregation singing "Silent Night".  It really came together in a pleasant way, filling the room with sound.  The second piece, "Bring Us Peace" was where the Christmas miracle occurred with a fresh soprano voice that could conquer the descant part.  Probably one of the best things I learned in preparing for Westside's Christmas Eve is that I can trust my instincts -- I made a few minor changes to each song and they both turned out really well!

After Westside's service, I went to find dinner.  Only, I learned a very important lesson - most fast food places close early on Christmas Eve!  I should plan for a packed dinner from home if I pick up three services again in the future. This year, it was lunchables (which my son calls dinnerables when you eat them for dinner) from Walgreens.  Mostly, I survived the evening on Coke Zero and cookies after each service.

I ended Christmas Eve singing with Anna Thomas over at First Presbyterian in Oak Ridge.  After being "in charge" all night, I was glad to be able to relax, sing, and worship myself.  The special music was "Cradle Hymn" and it was amazingly sweet and gentle and beautiful.  I will definitely keep that piece in my Christmas arsenal.

If you thought Christmas Eve would be the end of this post - think again!  AFTER Christmas Eve, I got to reunite with some of my favorite singing buddies (Michael, Dave, and Amanda) to lead service music on Sunday 12/27.  As much as I dreaded it, my favorite part of the service was singing "Let It Go" from Frozen.  We ended up inviting the kids from the congregation who knew it to come sing along - and that made it so much more fun for me.  THEN, for New Year's Eve, ORUUC had a coffeehouse, where another favorite singing buddy Amber convinced a group of us to get together and sing.  We chose "Sound of Silence" from Paul Simon.  It was hauntingly beautiful and I'm looking forward to singing with that group again soon.

And now, silence it is.  I'm quietly working away at selecting pieces and leading rehearsals, waiting for school to start back in mid-January and just generally enjoying a sigh of relief from living very fully in December.  Time to rest.

So Much to be Thankful For (November 2015) -- Part One

It's December 1, and I've barely had a moment to reflect on my very rich life right now.  The musical journey is incredible and I am overflowing with gratitude.  In fact, I have decided to list 30 things I am thankful for - one for each day in November.  So brace yourselves for the longest post in a while, friends.

1.  Joshua.  Did you know this man does our family laundry now?  It's one thing that I don't have to worry about in my life.  Clean clothes just appear in our bedroom every few days.  He also picks up Laura from karate so I can make it to my choir rehearsal on time.  He figures out dinner most weekday evenings and some weekends, even if that means a run to Outback carryout because I'm too exhausted to move from the couch.  In order for me to keep up my frantic pace of work, school, music work, and music ensembles, there has to be someone behind the scenes keeping me together.  Thankfully, I've got an amazing silent partner.

2.  Jonathan.  I totally luck out in the timing of this call to music ministry.  Or maybe I was more open to the call because of the timing in my life.  Either way, my independent 12-year-old needs so little day-to-day care from me at this point that I am able to pursue my dreams.  This boy wakes up in the 5AM hour every morning without an alarm clock.  He gets himself dressed, makes himself breakfast, and is out the door by 6:30.  Most mornings I get up around 6:15 just to make sure there's nothing that needs signed for school.  He helps to carry in groceries, feed the dogs, and just generally help around the house.  My only concern with him is that he's starting to grow a mustache and he's only about an inch shorter than me now.  The teenage years come too quickly!

3.  Laura.  I think I've found myself a cheerleader.  This girl gets dragged to church early nearly every Sunday because I'm involved in something musical.  I think I've heard her complain once in all that time.  She loves helping me with ORUUC's Children's Choir, including listening in to give a kids perspective when I'm deciding on new music.  She's also the puppy caretaker, a job she is always happy to fulfill.  Our puppy cries when she goes upstairs to bed, even though Josh and I are still there to play with her.  Somehow Laura is just more fun than we are.  Laura is also the queen of being excited about life.  Everywhere we go, she's the first to say, "Mom, look at that!"  She sings along and dances to her favorite songs on the radio.  She reminds me that life is meant to be lived.

4.  Parents.  My parents in all forms.  My Mom, my Dad, my Dad's girlfriend, my in-laws.  Each of them carry me along this journey in some way.  My Mom sent me condolence cards when my dogs passed away and then a gift card to PetSmart when we adopted new ones.  My Dad and his girlfriend invited us over for an amazing Thanksgiving feast and then came to my first Christmas concert of the season.  My in-laws are taking the kids for a few days over Winter Break.  It takes a village.

5.  Clara.  After the heartbreak of losing our two dogs within a week of one another, Clara has been the beacon of light that there is truly more love somewhere.  Though timid, Clara has settled right in with our family and has built a deep level of trust in each of us.  It's beautiful.  There is literally no way to avoid a smile when her tail is wagging at you.  This week, Clara is at the vet's office getting her first treatment for heart worm.  I'm looking forward to having her back at home soon.

6.  Milly.  Oh, Milly.  Milly the puppy stole our hearts within the first few minutes we saw her.  She loves everybody, loves to cuddle, and loves to play.  Mostly, she loves to chew.  On anything and everything in our house.  She actually stole Jonathan's slipper from off of his foot.  Fearless and hyper, she's an excellent balance for shy and mellow Clara.  Milly finally slept through the night a few days ago, which has given me renewed energy.  It's impossible not to laugh at her antics.

7.  Oak Ridge Animal Shelter / Friends of Oak Ridge Animal Shelter.  Thank you for rescuing dogs like Clara (Juniper) and Milly (Savannah) so families like mine can experience the vitality they bring to our home.  Special thank you to FORAS for funding Clara's heart worm treatment.

8.  ORUUC.  I don't thank this church enough for all of the encouragement and support I've received. From the early days of questioning why our house band had no sheet music to playing my first piano solo in service, I've received an endless amount of patience, opportunity to grow, and kinds words to carry me on my journey.  Thank you to each and every person who walks along side me on my spiritual path and my musical journey.

9.  Kids Choir.  I've been in my role as ORUUC's Children's Choir Director since August.  I continue to learn from our kids everyday.  Most rehearsals, we start out with a "dance break" where I hook my iPhone to a portable speaker and play a song for us all to move a little bit.  I started letting the kids pick the music and got a pleasant surprise when one girl asked for Sting's "Fields of Gold" and one boy asked for the Beatles.  The know more about music then I have given them credit for!  They also retain so much information from week to week!  We've learned about quarter notes and rests, eighth notes and half notes.  Even the repeat symbol.  They challenge me to make music fun!

10.  My friends.  I hate grouping all of my friends into one big thank you, but this post would be entirely too long if I mention each person individually.  Thank you to friends who invite me out for lunch, or coffee, or dinner, or dancing.  Thank you to friends who invite my kids over for play dates and sleepovers.  Thank you to friends who are also babysitters.  Thank you to friends who make music with me.  Thank you to friends who teach me music.  Thank you to friends who listen to me vent about really petty stuff in my life.  Thank you to friends who go out of their way to spend time with me.  Thank you to friends who show love when I need it most.  Thank you to one friend in particular for using Kohl's rewards to make my new awesome winter coat more affordable.

11.  My day job.  I'm not sure if I've mentioned lately that my musical journey is truly financed and made possible by my day job.  In general, music classes are not offered in the evenings.  It's not like business classes or classes geared toward working folks.  So, I take my music classes during the day.  Thankfully, my day job in training & development allows me flexibility with a work-at-home schedule, so I am able to take classes early in the morning and at lunchtime.  My day job also pays the bill for school. And, just when you thought things couldn't get better, I have a wonderful boss who actually checks in to see how my musical development is progressing and was genuinely excited for me when I got my choir director job at Westside.  My day job also encourages me to be active, with my running goals built into my performance plan and rewarded with points that can be spent on health items.  Everyone should have a job like this.

12.  My health.  I would guess that at least once a day, someone mentions to me that they could never keep up with my schedule.  I am thankful that my body and mind, in general, let me keep at this breakneck pace.  Occasionally, like this past week, my body reminds me that I need to make time for rest.  But most of the time I'm able to go, then go, then go some more before I collapse into bed and start my day again.  And although I'm not keeping up with my running as much, I have been regularly walking the new dogs and was able to run/walk a 5K on Thanksgiving.

13.  Ebb and flow.  This should probably rank higher on my list.  Without the breaks in my schedule, I would never rest and recover.  My classes are wrapping up for the semester.  One music ensemble has finished our holiday performance and won't rehearse again until January.  Every once in a while, there's that unexpected night off on my calendar.  Those nights I spend on the couch watching Dr. Who with my family. Or spend at karate watching Laura in class instead of just dropping her off.  I treasure those moments when I can reconnect with my family ... and my bed.

14.  Teachers.  I've had some great teachers this semester.  My Music Theory teacher shares new material in a way that makes it approachable.  She gives us hints and tips to remembering all the terms.  I have to admit, I kind of like analyzing music.  It's like solving a puzzle.  My Piano teacher always has a kind word for my pieces and suggests ways to improve to make the music even better.  She's very supportive and encouraging.

15.  Challenges.  Yes, I'm thankful for challenges.  How will I make it through the Ear Training software?  How will I get Jonathan to an audition and Laura to a playdate and myself to a rehearsal at the same time?  How the heck do we add two new dogs (including a puppy!) into the mix of our already busy family life?  These challenges are just asking for creative solutions - they stretch me to think outside of the box.  Sometimes a great plan comes together... and sometimes we learn a valuable lesson for next time.  I once heard a fitness coach talk about how in order to become more fit, you have to "stress the system."  When these challenges pop up, I imagine how we will all grow because we're stressing the system.

Continued in Part Two...

So Much to be Thankful For (November 2015) -- Part Two

Continued from Part One...

16.  My new job.  Yes, for a musical journey blog, this should be higher on the list -- but I wanted to make sure my priorities were straight.  While my life is all about music, my family and friends still come first.  Now... I *adore* my new job as the choir director for Westside UU Church.  I have received a very warm welcome and have already started picking out music for after the holidays.  It's an amazing opportunity to work with a great community and I will definitely make the most of it.  I spent my first choir rehearsal just observing and listening, so I'm looking forward to starting to work with everyone next week.  I spent my first Sunday singing a solo (Josh Groban's "Thankful" -- which inspired the title of this post) and greeting the community.  I'm looking forward to recruiting members into the choir and spending Sundays sharing choir pieces with the community.  

17.  Unexpected moments.  As I was driving to a rehearsal the other day, the sun was setting over the mountains. It was a beautiful sight.  I took a moment to just watch the horizon and breathe.  Moments like that remind me to stop the frantic pace from time to time and just enjoy the view.

18.  Music Ensembles.  The groups that keep me going.  Whether it's our church choir and band, Knoxville Choral Society or Chamber Chorale, or the Messiah Sing-a-long crew, singing with people makes me amazingly happy.  I just kicked off the Christmas season with the Knoxville Chamber Chorale and the Knoxville Chamber Orchestra in a sold out show at the Bijou.  Wow, how fun!

19.  Mentors.  Formal and informal.  Folks I look up to in my day job, in my music ensembles, in my church, in my community.  People who inspire me to work toward my passions.  I hope I do you all proud.

20.  NYC. A nice place to visit, but reminds me that I would never enjoy living in a big city again.  It's the first family vacation we've taken in a while and it was really cool to share the sights and sounds of the city with the kids.  Plus, Lion King on Broadway!

21.  People working toward racial justice.  You know who you are.  ARE, SURJ, BLM, NAACP, and the recent Oak Ridge City Town Halls.  I love you, support you, and can't wait to see the change we can make in this world.

22.  Vacation days.  I had a bunch of days off work this month, between the NYC trip and Thanksgiving.  I'm looking forward to even more coming up at the end of December.

23.  Stevie Wonder.  At 65 years old, he put on a FOUR HOUR concert, with one 20-minute intermission.  I now have proof that I can keep this pace going for the next 30 years.  Bonus thank you that his concert counted as one of my concert reports for my piano lessons this semester.

24.  Shelter.  From the rain.  From the cold.  There may be water in the garage and water stains on the ceiling in the living room, but our home is still doing its job.

25.  Pie Five.  For the many meals and free pizzas I have earned.  Whole grain crusts, veggie toppings, and not a lot of guilt in my speedy lunch/dinner choices.

26.  My phone.  The electronic thing that keeps me organized and sane.

27.  Body parts.  Fingers to play piano, arms to wave to conduct, feet and legs to walk the dogs around the block, eyes to watch my children grow, ears to listen to music and the world around me, shoulders to carry my backpack, knees to get down eye-to-eye with the puppy, and a nose to sniff out the nearest pumpkin pie.

28.  Christmas carols.  Inspired music that helps me remember the best parts of the season.

29.  Adele's "Hello" video.  It gives me the feels.

30.  Rain.  Did you ever have something you were thankful for, but didn't particularly like?  I don't like the rain.  At all.  But, I appreciate that it provides nourishment for the Earth.  And, today, I appreciate that the puppy didn't want to go for a walk in it, so I finally found the time to catch up on this blog.

And there you have it - my update for November and my endless gratitude for the life I lead.  While the storms of poverty, racism, hatred, and disrespect for our environment rage on around us, while the world needs so much more... there's so much to be thankful for.  Taking the time to reflect fuels me for the work ahead.

Exciting News!

On July 22, 2014, I woke up with a calling... to become a UU Music Director.  Since that day, I've gathered resources, spoken with mentors, gone back to school, volunteered for all sorts of music stuff, and just generally kept this purpose in focus.  

Today, I'm really excited to announce that I'm taking another step on this journey toward a musical career.  I've accepted a contract role to lead the choir at Westside Unitarian Universalist Church through next June.  It's a great opportunity to put all my new skills into practice and get more practical experience in music ministry.  I'm looking forward to being able to serve Westside by helping to create vibrant, inspiring music. 

The position begins November 15.  Be on the lookout for new chapters in this adventure!  Until then, make a joyful noise!

I just can't hide it!

What a week!  I've had so much excitement, it's been incredible.  (I just don't think there's enough joyous adjectives to describe it.)

Let's start with last Sunday.

 I got the true privilege of leading a multi-church choir for the installation of Rev. Carol Bodeau at Westside Unitarian Universalist Church.  Thirty wonderful singers from Knoxville area UU churches contributed their voices in celebratory song.  We sang Joyce Poley's award-winning hymn, "Keepers of the Earth," as well as Lucy Holstedt's vibrant anthem, "Welcome In," and Copland's classic, "Simple Gifts."  We opened with a spirited version of, "Enter, Rejoice, and Come In" and closed with a rousing, clapping-full rendition "This Little Light of Mine."

For me, it was amazing to watch the service unfold.  The service elements came together so beautifully and were the culmination of months of work -- from researching and selecting music with Rev. Carol, to coordinating rehearsals with the Music Directors at the area UU churches, to leading individual rehearsals at each congregation and our combined rehearsal, and finally to watching everything come alive on Sunday afternoon.  The choir, accompanist, and drummers brought the music to life better than I ever could have imagined.

Next up, a children's choir rehearsal that ran late - in a good way!  Our kids at ORUUC were so attentive and worked so hard on creating movements and learning the words for their new piece, "A New Day" by Agnes Paulsen, that our rehearsal time just flew by.  I have to admit, I'm kind of missing them on our day off today because...

The rest of my week was spent in rehearsals with the Knoxville Opera's production of Boito's Mefistofele. I'm part of the celestial chorus through a partnership with Knoxville Chamber Chorale.  It was a series of long rehearsals this week with performances Friday night and this afternoon (thus the no children's choir rehearsal this week).  It's a really entertaining show and I enjoyed being able to see a good chunk of the show from onstage behind the actors - and about an hour of the show hanging out in the green room catching up on school work and emails.  I would definitely do it again!  Even with the exhaustion from...

My high school reunion was also this weekend.  Having already committed to the Opera, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to go.  But I managed to find flights that could get me in and out of DC at crazy early morning hours - and the best friend willing to host me and keep up with my crazy schedule.  At the reunion, several people commented "of course!" when I mentioned that I was going back to pursue my music degree.  So funny, even my high school friends knew what I should be doing twenty years ago.

Now, the exhaustion has set in and I'm thankful for a day off tomorrow.  No school, no work, just a day to relax with my kids and catch up on sleep.  Today, I feel successful in doing all the things I wanted to do this week.  I shouldn't even think about tomorrow.  These sweet memories will last a long, long time... I know not every week will be this great, so I'm documenting it while I'm so excited!

*P.S. Shout out to the Pointer Sisters for the lyrics to "I'm so excited"

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Ah, these are the days of my life.  The days where I wake up at 5:45am and fall into bed after 11pm having barely had a moment to breathe.  Exhausted, but happy.  I still haven't found quite the word to describe it.

First...The Good.  The good is very good.  My new job as ORUUC's Children's Choir Director is really rewarding and, for the most part, really fun!  We've danced the Macarena and learned to draw quarter notes.  We've talked about the shofar and sung about Rosh Hashanah.  We impressed the congregation this past Sunday with our Hebrew.  L'Shana Tovah to you!

My job as the Music Coordinator for Rev. Carol Bodeau's installation at Westside UU Church is nothing short of amazing.  We started rehearsals last week and I have to admit -- I think it's a miracle every time voices come together to create music from some little dots printed on a page.  Dan Forrest planted this idea in my head and it has really grown into a deep appreciation for how music is created.  Rehearsals continue this week and it looks like we'll have between 25-30 folks in the installation choir.  I'm already imagining the great sound of their combined voices.  A miracle, I tell you.

School, while challenging, is going really well.  My first tests in both classes came back with good grades and my piano teacher tells me she can already see my progress.  I swear I learned more in the first three weeks of Music Theory (key signatures, intervals, major/minor relative keys) than anyone has ever taught me about music.  And we're not even half way through the first term!  I've got a lot to learn, but I'm an eager student.

The Bad.  Oh, the bad.  Scheduling is hard.  Two of my classes this semester require work outside of class, so I needed to find more time for school in my week than I expected.  I drive to campus every morning now, which was tough to get used to.  It also means that I'm working very early morning and later afternoon hours to get my day job done so I can break away from my desk for school each day.  At the end of most school/work days, I have to take the kids to their activities and then run off to my own rehearsals.  So I really do have several days a week where I'm up at 5:45am and don't see my bed again until11pm.  Weekends aren't much better, with kids activities, church service, Children's Choir, volunteer activities and more rehearsals.  While I enjoy what I'm doing (even my non-music day job is great), the schedule can be grueling.

The Ugly.  So, so ugly.  Ugly is what happens when you volunteer to hang out at a high school lock-in until midnight and then come home to a vomiting dog.  My weekend went from cleaning the house to singing at a community event with our Mighty House Band to volunteering at the event to the church high school lock in to vomiting dog to sleep to choir rehearsal to children's choir rehearsal to church service to children's choir rehearsal to reorganizing my daughter's bedroom to family dinner to schoolwork to sleep to school to work to karate drop off to... <crash>  Did I mention U-G-L-Y?  My body stopped me in my tracks with a migraine so fierce that I had to cancel everything for Monday night.   No rehearsals, no schoolwork, no emails.  Just resting on the couch in a dark room followed by an early bedtime.  The mind was willing, but the body was having none of it.

Despite the bad and the ugly, I am really happy.  Feeling confident that in working toward my purpose, I am living out my purpose.  My body reminds me from time to time that I am, in fact, human and need to take time to rest in the midst of all the excitement.  Many times, I feel like a little kid - so full of energy toward living out this dream that I can't sleep, thinking of the next thing I want to learn or try or do.  It's exhilarating and exhausting... exhaustarating?  exhilarausting?

Whatever it is, it's beautiful.

Calm Before the Storm

It's August.  The end of summer.  The return of the early morning school bus and the late night choir rehearsal.  Thankfully, the schedule gradually returns this year, with the kids going back to school last week (shifting our morning routine to a VERY early 5:45am), a start to children's choir at ORUUC this week (more on that in a moment), then school for me and Knoxville Choral Society returning later in the month.  By the last week in August, everything will be back in full swing and my life will consist of endless amounts of preparing, rehearsing, organizing, studying, listening, parenting, driving, singing... and very little sleep.  So, in this calm before the storm, I wanted to make sure I got a blog update written.

I'm thrilled to announce that I am now ORUUC's Children's Choir Director!  This K-8 group meets weekly and performs in service about once a month.  We kick off this coming Sunday and I'm really looking forward to spending time with our youngest singers.  Special thank you to David Ensley, the new Music Director at ORUUC, for giving me this opportunity for ongoing professional development.  I've spent the past week digging into kids music books thinking about what's possible for our crew.  I've enjoyed discussing possibilities with one choir member, my 9-year-old daughter.  She's getting remarkably good at telling me which songs sound fun and which sound boring.  Ha!

I've also made headway on the music for Rev. Carol Bodeau's installation at Westside UU Church in October.  It takes time to critically look at songs for their fit -- considering how the lyrics match the themes of the service, how the sound (tempo, rhythms, melody, etc.) fits with the flow of the service, how the difficulty compares with the amount of time we have to rehearse and the singers who volunteered.  I've been taking my time, knowing this process will get faster once I have more experience in selecting music.  And I've really been enjoying listening to all sorts of new music, exploring the UU Musicians Network database, and reaching out to UU composers to learn more about their pieces.

I'm also all squared away with school this semester.  I'm back at Pellissippi State CC for Music Theory I & Ear Training I, along with individual piano instruction.  Classes start in a few weeks, on August 24.

Knoxville Choral Society and Knoxville Chamber Chorale also start back up later this month, with KCS performing a Fall concert and with the Knoxville Symphony's Clayton Holiday Concerts and KCC performing with the Knoxville Opera and Knoxville Chamber Orchestra's Classical Christmas.

So, with my new Children's Choir responsibilities... and my work with Westside UU Church for Rev. Bodeau's installation... and my music classes at Pellissippi State... and Knoxville Choral Society's fall concerts... and Knoxville Chamber Chorale's opera production with the Knoxville Opera... I am ensured a very musical Fall.  And honestly... I can't wait!