Two Years Later

This week, I've been at the UU Musicians Network conference in Madison, WI.  You may remember that it was on the final day of this conference two years ago that I awoke with this calling toward music ministry (read about it).  I've been on an amazing journey ever since.  This year was my first year attending in a staff music role -- and I was so proud to represent my two congregations there.  I have to admit that I still feel a little intimidated, but definitely starting to build some relationships and have a little more confidence in being surrounded by music professionals.  Also, as I started to discuss my “day job” with folks, I realized something - I have some valuable skills in learning and development, online learning, social media, and web design that I could be putting to work for musical organizations like UUMN.  I seriously need to stop compartmentalizing my careers!

There were three big themes for me at this conference, outside of connecting and re-connecting with music colleagues.  First and foremost was shared ministry in worship design.  We spent the week exploring intentional engagement in radical collaboration as well as specifics on how to “think like a filmmaker” when designing worship with our keynote speaker, Dr. Marcia McFee.  Think about it - many of us leave a 2.5 hour movie wanting more, but get 20 minutes into worship and start wondering when coffee hour will start.  Both events are looking to tell a story that you will connect to emotionally, remember, and repeat to others.  Marcia went to filmmakers to ask for their tips on how to keep an audience engaged.  During her keynotes, she shared some amazing tips for both planning and delivery that involve engaging the senses, providing a sense of continuity, and the many roles music can play in worship. I took lots of notes and really look forward to working with Westside’s worship and music teams this year to experiment!

The next theme was children’s music ministry.  This year, the UUMN hosted the UU Children’s Choir.  What a fabulous group of young singers from across the country!  The children gave us a wonderful performance, participated in workshops, and sang with us in our Sunday worship services.  We had a children's choir repetoire session to explore new music and participated in workshops focused on both vocal development and movement for young singers.  The director for the choir this year, Emily Ellsworth, is so inspiring to me as a children's choral conductor in the way she prepares the kids to be true musicians.  Her key message was that the children's choir is only as good as the person standing in front of them - we (adults) tend to place limits on our kids rather than expanding their knowledge and respecting their ability to learn.  I'm coming away with lots of fun ideas for ORUUC’s children's choir and a new respect for the possibilities of my group. More importantly, after hearing the children sing, I came away with renewed energy for inspiring young singers to connect with their faith through song.  Tears welled up in my eyes every time I heard them sing, “listen to the sound of my voice,” in our joint piece, “Give Us Hope.”

The third theme I want to lift up is that of integrating Tai Chi Chuan with vocal music and conducting.  Our choral clinician, Dr. Adam Con, showed us how to infuse Tai Chi principles into our singing, teaching us several key beaths from our lungs, kidneys, liver, and heart.  We had the honor of performing his new work with Joshua Rist, "Guigen," derived from the Six Healing Sounds.  I will carry with me that sensation of stillness and calm, with feet firmly rooted on the earth and our bodies relaxed like a tree swaying gently in the wind.  He also discussed the use of circular gestures when conducting to get a fuller, more linear sound.  And showed us some common conducting posture errors that can lead to a poor sound from our singers.  I've heard he's writing a book - I can't wait to read it when it comes out.

There was so much more to this conference than I can put into one blog post.  I joined discussions on musical meditation and on small church music ministry to gather ideas, resources, and connections.  I participated in engaging, meaningful worship every morning.  I re-connected with colleagues over ice cream and made new friends at the banquet and on the hotel shuttle. I really can't wait to see everyone again next summer in Arlington, VA!

As outgoing UUMN President Tim Anderson wrapped up the conference, he said he hoped that we all felt loved during our time together.  I know that I felt loved and supported by every person I spoke to during the conference.  I am exhausted, but certainly fed for the journey ahead.

Anne and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

It's been a while since I've updated my personal blog.  And, I need to reflect on this no good, very bad day.  So, let me attempt to provide some updates while also sharing the story of my day today.  

I woke up late this morning.  Mostly because I stayed up late last night to keep reading "The Fifth Wave".  It's been a long time since I've been able to read a book for pleasure.  I've been trying to make some time for myself lately for personal leisure and exercise, but then I have to cut into my sleep time (which, coincidentally, is also time for myself).

When I finally got out of bed, I remembered that I hadn't finished my theory homework.  Theory is going well for me so far this semester.  As an analytical person, the series of rules for part writing seem to come pretty easily, even though I have an occasional parallel fifth in there. 

As I was working on my homework, my daughter Laura thought she would be helpful and let our dogs back in.  They had been outside for about 20 minutes or so.  It's been rainy for days (and days and days) now, so the yard is pretty much nothing but mud.  As luck would have it, the dogs ran right past Laura, tracking mud throughout the house and then right into my office where I was working.  Frustrated and sleep deprived and rushing to get my work done, I screamed at Laura to clean the floors while I bathed the dogs for the third time in 24 hours.

After finishing my homework and managing to get everyone off to school and work, I finally sat down to get some "real" work done on my day job before heading off to school.  My day job is going pretty well and I was really looking forward to participating in a virtual conference this week for Humana learning professionals.  As I checked my work email and planned out my work day, the storm started.  

It was really windy and dumping buckets of rain, which made me nervous that one of the hidden leaks in my house (we have 2) would act up.  As I put a bucket into place, I heard a thump, but didn't think much of it.  Mostly, I was annoyed that I had to wait out the heavy rain to leave for school, delaying my morning yet again.

The rain calmed down and I headed to campus to get some ear training lab work in before my theory class.  Only, when I opened the garage door, I saw this:

I checked to make sure there wasn't a hole in the roof of my house, snapped this photo, then left for school.  I sent it to my hubby and our neighbors (the tree is in between our houses).  Does that give you a sense of how rational I am?  I knew the tree wasn't going anywhere and there was no immediate danger to my house, so why miss class?

When I got to school, the lab was locked, so I went to get one of my instructors to open it.  Only it wasn't actually locked.  Hadn't I tried the lock?  Well, no.  It was raining and I was frustrated, so when I saw the light off I just made some assumptions.  Of course.

As if my morning needed the extra special kick-in-the-pants, I spent nearly an hour working on harmonic dictation.  I can tell you right now, it sucks.  I'm hoping for a miracle to get my ears to understand what they're hearing before the end of the semester.  Pray for me.

After school, I came home and examined the damage more fully.

Thankfully, there was really very little damage.  The gutter was still fine, the shed was fine, no big holes in the roof.  My awesome neighbors were already working on getting a tree guy. I tried to get back to my "real" work, only to my surprise there was no power in the house (totally unrelated to the tree, but related to the storms for sure).

So, I gave up on work for a bit and went to lunch to wait out the power repair.  I came home an hour later, when they promised the power would be back on, and still no power.  So I waited another hour (using up the last of my phone battery).  Still no power, so I decided to head to Starbucks with the kids for power and wi-fi.  Only as we were walking out the door, the neighbors kids came to ask if they could stay at our house.  Turns out they were locked out because of the power outage.  

So, I had to wait for the neighbors kids' Dad to come home and then for the tree guys to remove the tree.

Of course, now it is three hours later and I still have done no "real" work.  And the power is still out.

I finally get to leave for Starbucks.  Within minutes of getting my peppermint mocha in my hand, my son texts me that the power is on.  Of course it is, now that I'm at Starbucks. These are the days when "working from home" is not all it's cracked up to be.

Of course, my evening was packed, so I couldn't stay at Starbucks very long.  It was already time to start my chauffeur service to Laura's karate class and come home to more yet more dog washing, more things to do, more places to be.   

Perhaps because of the rough start to my day, I was feeling pretty grumpy by the time my evening rehearsals came around.  First up was rehearsal at First Pres for their Service of Psalms on Sunday afternoon (y'all come).  Of course, that meant missing ORUUC choir for second week.  It's a powerful reminder of the difficult choices I have to make sometimes to follow this calling and gather experience to live out my purpose.  I've noticed a growing sense of frustration rising in me -- I'm not able to commit to the organizations and causes I love, like stepping down from leadership in our Allies for Racial Equity group.  The passion is still there, but I have to be reasonable about the limits of my body and time.  It's tough.

I had to put piano lessons on hold this semester for similar reasons.  My plan is to do weekly lessons this summer to keep progressing in my skills.  But, for now, I can't add one more thing to the schedule.  Lots of frustrated self talk.

Why won't I take more risks with the things I do make time for?  Why don't I volunteer when a teacher or conductor asks for one?  What am I so afraid of?  Why do I have to practice everything behind closed doors before I try it in front of others?  I wish I were more comfortable taking risks.

Sheesh.  My day has totally damaged my psyche.  Time for a break.

So, I dragged my sad self into rehearsals at First Pres and then ORUUC.  I was graciously welcomed by both congregations.  I am lucky to be surrounded by excellent musical mentors and talented vocalists in both churches.  I come to the end of my day and am asked to do a solo for this weekend.  And I say yes, determined to take more risks and learn from the chaos inside my head today.

And I am lucky to come to the end of this day with deep gratitude for all that is my life, even when it gets a little hectic.  

This, too, shall pass.