With Thanks...

It's the end of November and I have so much to be grateful for.  So consider this both an update and a list of all of the many things I have been thankful for this month.

I am thankful...

... that talking to kids about music is not nearly as scary as I thought it would be.  First, I spent an hour talking about music and singing and dancing and conducting with the Girl Scouts.  Then, I started working with a kids choir for the church.  We've got a good group of about 15 kids who, so far, are very enthusiastic and humor me when I quiz them on the lyrics or cup my hand to my ear like I can't hear them.  A couple of them even came back for the second rehearsal!

... for Stevie Wonder bringing his tour within driving distance -- and for Nancy and Deidre who agreed to a ridiculous down-and-back in one night schedule so I could show up for church on Sunday morning.  I have such a hard time describing my overwhelming joy in attending this concert.  Incredible is not nearly a strong enough word.  For close to 3.5 hours, he and his musicians entertained in a way that surpassed all of my expectations.  I took a few short videos of all of my favorite songs just to remind me of what it was like to be there, in that moment.  I also bought a t-shirt.  And a mug. I'm serious when I say it's the single greatest live event I've ever attended.

... for opportunities to perform myself this holiday season. It's a nice break from music that I have to select or prepare or conduct or organize.  I'll have concerts in the coming weeks with the Knoxville Chamber Chorale (Dec. 4 & 11), Messiah Singalong (Dec. 6 & 7), and Knoxville Choral Society (Dec. 19-21).

... that I got the opportunity to attend several workshops and a reading session with Dan Forrest.  It's a really enlightening experience to hear a composer discuss his pieces and his process.  To perform his  works with a 200-voice choir, orchestra and the composer on piano - now that's just amazing.  Add to the weekend a couple of meals with fellow KCS folks and you've got something really special.

... for the physical strength to keep my body moving despite my sometimes grueling schedule.  I ran my first 10K this week and was really proud of the accomplishment.  I plan to race again in the Spring, but for now my goal is to keep up regular exercise to maintain this level of energy.

... for finally figuring out the first steps in my music education.  I decided to start at the local community college (Pellissippi) to pick up basic music education (ear training, music theory) before moving on to another local program to finish the bachelors degree.  I feel like this gives me the best flexibility for now - close to home, lots of class times to choose from, and less expensive.

... for a "day job" that is incredibly supportive of this new journey.  I have been showered with recognition of my one-year service anniversary with Humana and my boss encourages me to fulfill  my dreams and passions.  I've been so lucky to keep my salaried job while exploring this new music ministry career.

... for a family that is loving, supportive, and -best of all- independent.  I have kids who take responsibility for their own breakfast in the morning, their homework in the afternoon, and their bedtime rituals in the evening.  I have a daughter who can entertain herself at the church while I'm working and a son who is old enough to stay home and get his work done.  I have an endlessly patient husband who has doubled the nights each week that he has to take care of the kids because of the new schedule.  We went three solid weeks before I could squeeze in a trip to the grocery store and they've been real troopers about it.  (I promise, we've gone grocery shopping now!)

... that, in this time of gratitude and holiday, I was able to take Thursday and Friday off of work from both of my jobs to concentrate on my family.  I didn't even answer an email for two days.  I took time to remember that, in the midst of pursuing my calling, I can't forget my priorities.  I am rooted in the love of my husband, my kids, and my parents.

And, as I said at the dinner table on Thanksgiving...
... that I finally know what I want to be when I grow up.

October 2014

I feel like I've lived a lifetime in the month since my last post.  It's been a whirlwind of activity with emotional extremes so powerful that I'm just now able to sit and process all that has happened.  I'll try to capture the highlights here, but there's just so much more to say than I can reasonably expect people to read.

A month ago, on a Tuesday evening, four ORUUC music leaders were pulled into a room for an emergency meeting.  We were told that our Music Director (and my mentor - see earlier blog posts) had been fired and that we were now tasked with carrying out the music program for the near future.  We started by processing the overwhelming emotions that come with such an unexpected loss, then moved into practical decision-making about upcoming music events and services.

It was Tuesday.  Our service that Sunday would be the first one in our new location.  The choir was scheduled to sing to mark the occasion.  The newly formed "Music Team" made our first decision - to let the choir decide whether they still wanted to sing on the opening Sunday -- and if they decided to sing, I would direct them.  So, as I acknowledged my hurt, anger, and fear, I stood in the mirror figuring out how to conduct pieces for Sunday, in case the choir wanted to sing.  On Wednesday night, the choir heard the news of Wendel's departure.  Then, they rose to the deeper purpose of serving our congregation through song.  And there I stood, with less than 24 hours to practice and deal with my own emotions, leading my first choir rehearsal.  

My emotional state that first week can best be described as a "roller coaster".  On one hand, I was experiencing the significant loss of my friend and mentor.  As part of the terms of his dismissal, congregation members had been asked not to reach out to Wendel for two years, So, the person who I had been leaning on most for support, the person who sparked this musical passion inside me, the person who I consider a significant catalyst to my calling... was just gone.  And that was overwhelmingly painful.  On the other hand, I felt a deep sense of responsibility to make sure that ORUUC's music program continued to serve our congregation with excellent and eclectic music.  I renewed my determination to live out my calling by supporting our church community through musical leadership.  

Before I knew it, I was enveloped by love and support from so many people.  The choir, who from the beginning has cheered me on through my less-than-perfect conducting patterns.  The music team, who put their trust in me to lead the choir and take charge of many aspects of the music program.  My friends near and far, who have listened to me vent as well as celebrate.  My newest Music Director mentors, who seemed to come out from everywhere when I needed an ear.  My family, who have supported my seemingly endless hours of time at church.  Musicians and members at ORUUC, who offer their assistance and praise in so many ways.  It was being held in this light that carried me through such a difficult first few weeks.

Reflecting back, I take great pride in all our music program has been able to accomplish in this past month...

We opened a new building, moving music files and equipment, serenading a parade of members walking from our old location to our new one, and - of course - providing music for our opening Sunday.

Followed quickly by our "Week of Music" events - four nights of music leading up to our building dedication.  So many ORUUC musicians participated in this celebration -- and we had great attendance from our congregation and the wider community.  Our choir and house band really stepped it up, performing Thursday evening as well as both Sunday morning and Sunday afternoon on the day of our building dedication.  It was a very busy week for all of us.  Again, our musicians rose to their call to lend their talents in service to the congregation and community.  

Surviving those first few weeks, through the building dedication on October 19th, was the Music Team's initial goal on that first night we met.  So, to wake up on October 20th was a feeling of accomplishment.  But, it's far from over.  After all, every Sunday there is another service.

For now, I am honored to be the Temporary Music Director for ORUUC, working with the Music Team to ensure our music program successfully supports the spiritual growth of our congregation.  Through December 31st, I am living out my calling.  It is every bit as challenging and every bit as rewarding as I suspected it would be.